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EMTQueen
February 3rd, 2011, 07:25
Since I've been rejected for an interview, I'm going through other avenues now (namely Interac, Aeon, possibly EPIK, Amity, and Altia).

I just need some help answering these two short essay questions on the Interac application.

Why are you applying for this position?


In 2006, I made the best decision of my life and studied abroad in Japan. The experiences I had there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan again. Not only would working with Interac benefit me personally, but I would be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication, leadership, and building positive interpersonal relationships. It would also enhance my education in Japanese language and culture, which in turn would develop in my future career in cross-cultural psychology and international relations.

What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?


Aside from assisting in teaching English to students, being an ALT also means being an unofficial ambassador for my country and culture by providing good impressions and helping eliminate any misconceptions that may have been constructed through mainstream media. Demonstrating a desire to full immersion and establish a professional rapport with students, teachers, and other ALTs alike so both parties can fully benefit from exposure to a foreign culture is key. An ALT position would require patience, a longterm commitment to hard work, calling a new place home, and possibly a little bit of singing.

Not finished obviously, but just need some guidance. Too wordy and pretentious?

Tyr
February 3rd, 2011, 07:49
heh. I was just looking at that myself and wondering what sort of thing they look for.

Ame
February 3rd, 2011, 08:24
Heya EMT: the essays are really portent to Interac placements (I think.) There's a 600 limit and I've heard that it's best to get as close to that limit while writing your essay. I've been told at it's the essays that Interac really looks at when deciding who gets interviews or not.

When I wrote mine, I considered them mini- SOPs.

Jojo
February 3rd, 2011, 08:48
Its a good start, you need to expand on it more.

Since I've been rejected for an interview, I'm going through other avenues now (namely Interac, Aeon, possibly EPIK, Amity, and Altia).

I just need some help answering these two short essay questions on the Interac application.

Why are you applying for this position?
In 2006, I made the best decision of my life and studied abroad in Japan. The experiences I had there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan again.
great! briefly talk about them - connect them with what you want to acheive when you come back to japan.
Not only would working with Interac benefit me personally, but I would be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication, leadership, and building positive interpersonal relationships.
Good opening, now expand on this and show examples of these skills being put to use in work, school, life etc
It would also enhance my education in Japanese language and culture, which in turn would develop in my future career in cross-cultural psychology and international relations.
Again expand a little and link it back to the job your applying for.

What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?
This section needs some rewriting (some sentences are too long or the grammar is not quite right) but more importantly you havnt really answered the question... What they really want to hear is that you understand what the day to day of the job entails - show that you understand that first and then round it off with the last few paragraphs.
Aside from assisting in teaching English to students, being an ALT also means being an unofficial ambassador for my country and culture by providing good impressions. and helping eliminate any misconceptions that may have been constructed through mainstream media.(rephrase this ) Demonstrating a desire to full immersion (fully immerse myself )and establish a professional rapport with students, teachers, and other ALTs alike so both parties can fully benefit from exposure to a foreign culture is key. An ALT position would require patience, a longterm commitment to hard work, calling a new place home, and possibly a little bit of singing.

Not finished obviously, but just need some guidance. Too wordy and pretentious? keep going ! :)

Jordan
February 3rd, 2011, 09:33
Jojo seems to have covered it, you should try to turn the good sentiment and values expressed round to focus on examples from your experience which demonstrate them.

Also, the "what do you expect" section again seems fairly heavy on rhetoric. Some of that is great you want to show that you understand the big picture and goals for the post. On the flip side the chance to mention specific anticipated duties is the chance to show off specific useful skills so try to do a little of each.

EMTQueen
February 3rd, 2011, 09:35
Thanks for the help! I'm going to walk away from the essays for a little bit and come back to them on Friday so I can write again with a clear head.

Daddyatemyfries
February 3rd, 2011, 09:49
ironically, I used parts of the same SOP from my JET application, and just changed the names from JET to Interac, and I got thru that hurdle.
Maybe ask to have someone review your SOP and see if it was okay before you use it for Interac?

EMTQueen
February 3rd, 2011, 12:00
I've been editing my SoP for the AEON essay (this isn't what I submitted to JET; I've already tweaked it some. I need another 50 words just to reach the minimum):


After a decade of formal French studies, I wanted to challenge myself and learn a completely new language in college. My brushes with Japanese culture as a youth led me to take up beginner’s Japanese. I was so enthralled with the language, history, and culture lessons that when I decided to study abroad, I applied for Japan instead of France. Engaging in random conversations in Japanese with elderly women with violet-streaked hair at the ATM, the experience of touring the castles and temples that I had only previously read about, and developing friendships with fellow exchange students from other countries I have yet to visit made the relatively simple decision to go abroad the best decision of my life thus far. However, I feel I have only scratched the surface. There are so many other areas of the country that I have yet to encounter and experience.

As an Assistant Language Teacher, I would delight in the opportunity to plant and nurture the same curiosity about the world and passion for language that I have in students by giving them the chance to work with somebody from a different culture than their own. I would also act as an unofficial American ambassador to both the Japanese and other non-American ALTs nationals to dispel any misconceptions about America, specifically black Americans, that may have been generated by mainstream media by making positive contributions to the community. Living in Japan would enhance my future studies and career in cross-cultural and environmental psychology by allowing me to gain firsthand a new perspective of everyday behavior and understand how others approach and achieve similar goals.

Although I do not have teaching experience in a formal classroom, my current position as an associate human resources manager at a theater developed similar leadership and effective communication skills by supervising and guiding a staff of thirty employees and through contact with my superiors. I frequently find myself in the role of instructor by conducting orientations for new hires and continually providing training to new and current employees when new procedures are implemented. Working with AEON would require me to use my abilities and skills in communication, leadership, and building professional interpersonal relationships with students, teachers, and other ALTs alike, which would give everybody the benefit of full exposure to foreign cultures.

I feel that my educational, professional, and travel experiences would make me an excellent ALT candidate. It would provide a unique channel to enrich my life and make discoveries about the world and myself. By returning to Japan and working with AEON, I hope to make an impact, whether major or minor, and continue to encourage positive relations between the United States, Japan, and the rest of the world.

patjs
February 5th, 2011, 09:43
Since I've been rejected for an interview, I'm going through other avenues now (namely Interac, Aeon, possibly EPIK, Amity, and Altia).

I just need some help answering these two short essay questions on the Interac application.

Why are you applying for this position?



What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?



Not finished obviously, but just need some guidance. Too wordy and pretentious?

Looks pretty good to me. It's similar to what I wrote and was offered and interview with them. I agree that for the second question, you may want to actually just spell out what you think the position entails rather than try to make it too "SoP-y"

happyBuddha
February 2nd, 2012, 15:24
It's totally a year later, but I was wondering if I could also receive some feedback on the short essay questions.


Why are you applying for this position?


The chance to continue my love for teaching while, leaning more about the Japanese language and people of Japan is something very important to me. In the spring semester of my third year of university I participated in a semester long study abroad program in Japan. This marked my fifth time in Japan but my first visit to exceed 2 weeks in length. After my time as a foreign exchange student at Soka University in Hachioji, Tokyo I returned to my university in the US and finished my final year as an undergraduate student. My time in Japan still resonates with me and I have made the decision that moving there would be the most meaningful step I can make for my continued professional development. It is my hope to improve upon and then incorporate my love of Japanese language into my future career. The experiences I would have accumulated through my time as an ALT will be invaluable towards this goal.

Having recently finished a year long experience teaching English to elementary school aged children in South Korea I am eager to continue working in the language education field. Seeing my students Monday though Friday, teaching them English and sharing American culture with them was genuinely enjoyable. Naturally the students were entertaining. The highlight question of the many asked to me was “teacher, is that a reggae perm?” My students were hilarious—without even trying to be. However, it was the academic growth I witnessed which brought the biggest smile to my face.




What do you suspect an ALT position with Interac entails?


I believe an ALT position with Interac will entail many of the same responsibilities I held while in South Korean as an Native English Teacher. Having the opportunity to work simultaneously at three different schools allowed me to enjoy a versified view of Korean culture. Each school had its own educational style and curriculum. The grade levels of my students were the same but the course materials, teaching style preferred by the school, and co-teachers were all different. As a teacher meeting the demand to perform in-sync with the individual school culture of each educational institution has undeniably improved my own versatility. My official title was Native English Teacher and my duties were to work alongside Korean teachers of English in preparation of classroom materials and implementation of English language courses. Along with my normal school hour classes I also taught after school English classes. These after school classes were geared towards nurturing the development of students who either were not yet up to par with their peers or had already surpassed their peers’ command of English. I also had the opportunity to develop and lead in three English camps held during the school year summer and winter vacation periods. I expect the responsibilities I would have as an Assistant Language Teacher would be even more rewarding because of the experience I have already accumulated thanks to my time in South Korea. The support Interac provides its ALTs, accompanied with my history as a student of Japanese language and culture are also two crucial aspects of why I am confident I will excel as an ALT in Japan.

Thank you for reading! ^^

anonymoose
February 3rd, 2012, 02:09
Why are you applying for this position?


The chance to continue my love for teaching while, leaning more about the Japanese language and people of Japan is something very important to me. In the spring semester of my third year of university I participated in a semester long study abroad program in Japan.
Incomplete first sentence, unnecessarily long second sentence. Try:
I'm applying for an ALT position with Interac to continue my career in education. I am particularly interested in teaching in Japan because of a study abroad program I participated in during my third year of university.

This marked my fifth time in Japan but my first visit to exceed 2 weeks in length.
Oddly worded and has unnecessary information. Try:
Although I had traveled to Japan several times before, this was my first lengthy visit to the country and has had the greatest impact.

After my time as a foreign exchange student at Soka University in Hachioji, Tokyo, I returned to my university in the US (they know it's in the US, so you can just erase that) and finished my final year as an undergraduate student. My time in Japan still resonates with me and I have made the decision that moving there would be the most meaningful step I can make for my continued professional development in ESL education. It is my hope to improve upon and then incorporate my love(replace with "proficiency", this is a professional essay for a position with a for-profit company) of the Japanese language into my future career. The experiences I would->will have accumulated through my time(redundant, erase) as an ALT will be invaluable towards this goal.

Having recently finished a year long experience teaching English to elementary school aged children->students in South Korea I am eager to continue working in the language education field->in foreign language education. Seeing my students Monday though Friday, teaching them English and sharing American culture with them was genuinely enjoyable. Naturally the students were entertaining. (Sounds creepy, reword or erase.) The highlight question of the many asked to me was “teacher, is that a reggae perm?” My students were hilarious—without even trying to be. However, it was the academic growth I witnessed which brought the biggest smile to my face. (All very strange and informal, I recommend a new ending)

anonymoose
February 3rd, 2012, 02:20
What do you suspect an ALT position with Interac entails?


I believe an ALT position with Interac will entail many of the same responsibilities I held while in South Korean->Korea as an Native->a native English Teacher->teacher. Having the opportunity to work simultaneously at three different schools allowed me to enjoy a versified view of->have a diverse perspective on Korean culture. (I notice you've been using the word "enjoy" a lot, it's kind of creepy when it's an adult writing about their experiences with children. Once is okay, but no more in professional essays.) Each school had its own educational style and curriculum. The grade levels of my students were the same but the course materials, teaching style preferred by the school->preferred teaching style, and co-teachers were all different. As a teacher meeting the demand to perform in-sync with the individual school culture of each educational institution has undeniably (redundant, and is it really undeniable? I'd erase it) improved my own versatility. My official title was Native English Teacher and my duties were to work alongside Korean teachers of English in preparation of classroom materials and implementation of English language courses. Along with my normal school hour classes I also taught after school English classes. These after school classes were geared towards nurturing the development of students who either were not yet up to par with their peers (erase, it's redundant, the "peers" you say later in the sentence will clear it up for both) or had already surpassed their peers’ command of English. I also had the opportunity to develop and lead in three English camps held during the school year summer and winter vacation periods->summer and winter vacation. I expect the responsibilities I would have as an Assistant Language Teacher would be even more rewarding because of the experience I have already accumulated thanks to my time in South Korea->my experience teaching English in South Korea. The support Interac provides its ALTs, accompanied with my history as a student of the Japanese language and culture are also two crucial aspects of why I am confident I will excel as an ALT in Japan.

happyBuddha
February 3rd, 2012, 12:32
In addition to these courses I had the opportunity to develop and lead in three English camps held during summer and winter vacation. What do you think about this sentence?

Thank you for reading, making so mnay corrections, and giving me feedback. I didn't even realize I was sounding like a creeper! :o

Having another pair of eyes to look over material really is the best way to go. That and I must end my youtube addiction and pick up a few more books instead.

PKStraka
February 28th, 2012, 08:37
Hello, everyone! I was wondering if anyone would similarly give my Interac essay a glance. Any input would be greatly appreciated!

*Oh, and sorry for the awkward censoring of personal info. I hope it is not too distracting.

Why are you applying for this position?


In 2005, as a junior in high school, I traveled to Japan's Aichi prefecture as part of a three-month cultural exchange program. Since this opportunity, my ambition to be immersed in Japanese culture and language has begun to reciprocate with my aspirations to understand Japanese philosophy. This past fall, I acted as a guide and cultural ambassador to Prof. Dr. [Japanese Professor] of Waseda University during his stay in [City]. Through conversations with [Japanese Professor], my youthful interest in Japan has solidified into a serious intellectual engagement.
In contemporary American philosophy, there is a trending toward converging diverse perspectives onto eternal problems. Japan has a rich philosophical tradition that can shine new light on Western philosophical dialogue. My professional goal is to work as a graduate student, and, eventually, a university professor, as part of the movement that is increasing the constructive academic spirit between Japanese and Western philosophical thought. It is integral to my progress in this endeavor to understand not only Japanese language, but more importantly, Japanese culture. As an applicant to Interac for the Assistant Language Teacher position, I hope to gain such insight into the language and heritage of Japan.
My anticipation for the cultural learning experience of the ALT position is, however, only one half of the coin; equally, I look forward to the prospect of gaining further experience as educator. As a professor, I will be required to explain difficult concepts to students of varied backgrounds. I believe that serving as a ALT in Japan will help me to gain sensitivity to the special requirements of teaching in the multicultural and multinational setting of the university. Finally, as for what I hope to leave behind, it is my desire to create a positive and constructive impression of American thought and life.



What do you an think an ALT position with Interac entails?


I expect the Assistant Language Teacher position with Interac to make two primary demands on my character and background: perseverance and cultural stewardship. Turning attention to this first trait, my experience as educator is noteworthy. With the [Tutoring Center], a highly reputable private learning center in the [Metropolitan Area], I foster within my students dedication to their academic goals. The trials presented by math and science education require us to employ a steady confidence focused on incremental goals. Guiding my students toward making small progressions each day, I enjoy sharing the pay-offs of our perseverance. As an undergraduate researcher in Biology, this driven, albeit patient, demeanor was conducive to success in the laboratory. As an ALT, I believe it prepares me for the unknown challenges to be presented in the classroom.
At the threshold of cultural boundaries, I have cultivated the trait of cultural stewardship. In 2005, as a junior in high school, I traveled to Japan's Aichi prefecture for three months to be immersed in Japanese student life. My language skills were rudimentary at best; however, I found music to be a common ground for mutual discovery. Playing electric bass with the school band, I enjoyed cultural exchange despite the language barrier. In addition to music, I think photography is another excellent medium through which to share experiences. In 2009, I was awarded [University Sponsored Prize] in photography for my work concerning the cultural differences between my previous home in a small town of [State] and my current residence amongst the sprawling cities of [Another State]. As an ALT, there is much about America I would like to share with my students. I have learned that music and photography serve as two excellent bridges which facilitate exchange across the cultural gap.

Gizmotech
March 6th, 2012, 13:14
Umm... You strongly need to rethink your answer to the first question. The first paragraph did not answer the question at all for me, as it talked about your interests, not why you want the job.

Prof Dr. is redundant. Most professors are doctors, and if the doctor is that important, professor is not.

Your second question answer is a better answer to the first question than the second. The second asks what do you think the job is, not what you think you can bring to it.

Can I also suggest you stop trying to talk yourself up so much? Grats, you've traveled, now answer the question. Also, tone the language down a bit. Interacs are placed in Elementary through High-School. Not university. You've shown an excellent command of Academic English, but at certain points it goes over the top. (Stewardship? calling yourself a professor?)

Keep in mind the following: JET is a multi-cultural experience (talked about extensively on the overpaid and underemployed hangout ITIL). Interac is a job where you are filling the mandated roll of having a foreigner available to help teach English. You are not a Assistant Cultural Enlightener (How about steward?), you are a walking English dictionary, grammar, and pronunciation machine.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 06:06
Deleted

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 10:53
Reviewed.

Don't spend the whole time dancing around saying anything solid. These things ask simple questions, give them simple and direct answers. There is nothing worse than reading a page's worth of text to find it could all have been summed up in a sentence or two. You don't need moreover, as such, etc. at the start of EVERY sentence. IF the following sentence is always fed by the previous one, you should rarely need to use them.

I have also never seen "conclusively" used in the manner you are using it. Perhaps it is a Brit English thing, but if you're reviewer is American they would likely be more accustomed to, "in conclusion."


Hi guys,

I am hoping someone can briefly review my two short essays?
I'm sure I can repay the favour in some way.


Why are you applying for this position?



<Redundant padding.-->>The concept of improving both cultural interaction and awareness of students in Japan and giving students a motive to speak English has long been an ambition of mine for many years. <What difference does it make WHEN it happened?-->>My interest in Japan as an ALT was first inspired after having experienced teaching English to adults and adolescents in Poland and the Czech Republic, albeit as an undergraduate. <You tend to be prone to long lists and odd commas. Have someone that has never read this read it aloud and see where it cocks them up.>Furthermore, it is during my travels to the U.S through ‘Camp America’ as a camp counsellor where I lead a group of adolescents by playing sports, sharing meals, singing as well as utilising discipline. This challenge brought to the fore cultural barriers which was addressed by sacrificing own ideas and beliefs. <Are you implying this is what ALT life is like? It might be true, but insulting nonetheless.>I also learned more about myself and how to persevere where work was repetitive, requiring both diligence and the ability to 'get on with the job'. As such, I feel I can help others learn more about themselves.


<What does "As such" do for you, here or in the previous sentence? It implies that what you just said feeds directly into the following sentence, and it does not do so in either case.>As such, by working for a multicultural company such as Interac, I hope to achieve a life-enhancing experience by allowing me to work with a different culture that permits me to discover new models of teaching. Moreover, equipped with previous teaching experience, I believe the experience will invigorate my academic and leadership skills further. Therefore, as a result of participating as a language teacher, I hope to bridge the gap of internationalisation by promoting and stimulating the student’s interest in the English language by influencing a taste of cultural awareness that exists to the outside world of Japan and the benefits of such an exposure can bring to the students. Conclusively, I am confident that by being employed as an ALT, my teaching skills and past leadership experiences would positively influence the students themselves and would learn and develop from the experience.

Word count: 291



What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

Red text means 'Why on Earth is this here?'


Each institution, large or small, rural or urban, primary or secondary, has its own culture. Therefore, I expect the role of an assistant language teacher to be a varied one, <split this into two sentences. too many commas and people lose track of what you are trying to say.> involving conversation practice with entire classes, explaining vocabulary, grammar and even the possibility of taking the lead in teaching the class. <Pay attention to the possibility for misinterpretation of terms. This is Japan, not the Gulag. Also, put the thesaurus away. Keep it simple and clean. If you can't distill your thoughts into terms a child can understand, you don't understand them either.>However, it is to be expected that, in conjunction working with Japanese English teachers, ALT’s may suffer from the extremities of their role; <drop the semicolon. Make them their own sentences.> either being required to control and teach the class while the main teacher carries on with other duties, or being left to their own devices as the main teacher conjures constructive ways to use the ALT. Nonetheless, an ALT is essential as not only an authentic knowledge on all things English, but an unofficial ambassador from their native country, thus needing to promote not only professionalism, but also as a positive leading role-model.


<Perhaps you should acknowledge patience as necessary, but not do so at the expense of your potential coworkers.> However, the role of an ALT also requires positive attributes such as patience and an easygoing nature, as Japanese school teachers, particularly the elementary level, may speak little to no English, therefore more prone to miscommunication. As such, it is expected that ALT’s should be sensitive to this and speak slowly and clearly when dealing with staff. Moreover, Japanese schools are likely to operate in a manner that is culturally different to what the ALT would be culturally accustomed to in their native country, thus needing to be understanding of this. Therefore, prospective ALT’s need strong intercultural skills in order to assimilate quickly into the Japanese school environment. <This is awkward, and I think you would be an ambassador TO the students and FOR the UK, unless there is a profoundly different use across the pond> Conclusively, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, role-model and an unofficial ambassador for the students.



Word count; 290


.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:06
wow thanks for the review.

I guess it is just a case of cutting a few words out and rephrasing than retyping the short essay. Thank god for that lol.

The comment regarding 'Camp America' was just an example of how my experience can relate to the ALT role, showing an example of experiencing it before and how to deal with it. Apologies if it comes across insulting.

Many many thanks.

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 11:22
It isn't insulting to me, but try to remember you might have the biggest a## ever reading this on the other side, and they very well could be looking for anything to dq you.

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 11:30
Vaporate are you a native speaker of English? Your first essay in particular is riddled with the kind of errors that make me think English is your second language, so if you wait I can correct your essays and go over the mistakes to help you learn why those mistakes were made.

zero
March 7th, 2012, 11:37
Conclusively, ... : This indeed is a British language thing.



Is it? Seems awkward to me.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:38
Vaporate are you a native speaker of English? Your first essay in particular is riddled with the kind of errors that make me think English is your second language, so if you wait I can correct your essays and go over the mistakes to help you learn why those mistakes were made.

hi, I wouldn't go that far regarding whether English is my first language lol. However, any input is fine with me.

Be as harsh as you like. Only way to learn.

Thanks.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:40
Is it? Seems awkward to me.

If it was I'm sure my university lecturer a few years ago would have commented during essay feedback. Which they didn't.

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 11:41
hi, I wouldn't go that far regarding whether my English is my first language lol. However, any input is fine with me.

Thanks.

It was a genuine question. Also your answer doesn't actually make sense. Are you a native speaker or aren't you?

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 11:45
If it was I'm sure my university lecturer a few years ago would have commented during essay feedback. Which they didn't.

Actually, sometimes that stuff gets 'let go' just out of pure "Meh."

@Jiggit: Please weigh in on the conclusively debate. I'm genuinely curious about that one.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:49
It was a genuine question. Also your answer doesn't actually make sense. Are you a native speaker or aren't you?

Erm... it does to me lol I'm a British native speaker.

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 11:49
Actually, sometimes that stuff gets 'let go' just out of pure "Meh."

@Jiggit: Please weigh in on the conclusively debate. I'm genuinely curious about that one.

It's not UK English. It should be "In conclusion" or possibly "To conclude". Conclusively is an adverb.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:51
Actually, sometimes that stuff gets 'let go' just out of pure "Meh."

@Jiggit: Please weigh in on the conclusively debate. I'm genuinely curious about that one.

I will leave that phrase in my essay. Matter of preference.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 11:52
It's not UK English. It should be "In conclusion" or possibly "To conclude". Conclusively is an adverb.

Have to disagree.

Example:

Conclusively, we wanted to find out how the respective interviewees...blah blah
Now, for the first time ever, we shall conclusively prove that Freemasonry is.... blah blah blah

Both can be used this way

Not wrong to use the phrase the way I use it.

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 11:57
It's not UK English. It should be "In conclusion" or possibly "To conclude". Conclusively is an adverb.

That was my initial take, but 'therefore' and 'nonetheless' are adverbs as well.

Conclusively, I am not a Grammar Maester, however.

@vaporate: feel free. However, this is now an ITIL debate of the day.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:04
That was my initial take, but 'therefore' and 'nonetheless' are adverbs as well.

Conclusively, I am not a Grammar Maester, however.

@vaporate: feel free. However, this is now an ITIL debate of the day.

I hope it doesn't turn ugly lol. (Joking)

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 12:14
Conclusively is not a conjunctive adverb though. It is meant to describe a single verb, rather than the entire clause of which it is a part. Consider:

Regular adverb

Quickly, we wanted to find out how the respective interviewees...blah blah

Now, for the first time ever, we shall quickly prove that Freemasonry is.... blah blah blah

Of course you can choose to use it if you wish, and like you said many may not notice or care, but the way I see it is you might as well use "In conclusion" and say the same thing without the awkward grammar.

Anyway, I shall correct your essays after lunch.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:21
Conclusively is not a conjunctive adverb though. It is meant to describe a single verb, rather than the entire clause of which it is a part. Consider:

Regular adverb

Quickly, we wanted to find out how the respective interviewees...blah blah

Now, for the first time ever, we shall quickly prove that Freemasonry is.... blah blah blah

Of course you can choose to use it if you wish, and like you said many may not notice or care, but the way I see it is you might as well use "In conclusion" and say the same thing without the awkward grammar.

Anyway, I shall correct your essays after lunch.

In other words it is correct to 'Conclusively, ...' I've never heard of this being wrong. I will leave it as it is. I'm sure the American reviewers are aware of British/American English.

Anyway, many thanks jiggit for helping out. 'Conclusively', it is 3.21am in London so I should go to sleep. ;)

I'll be back soon. Just my foot is asleep and I want to catch up with it lol.

The short essays I posted up was my first draft so I expected a bashing. :)

Thanks again Jiggit.

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 12:29
In other words it is correct to 'Conclusively, ...' I've never heard of this being wrong. I will leave it as it is. I'm sure the American reviewers are aware of British/American English.

Anyway, many thanks jiggit for helping out. 'Conclusively', it is 3.21am in London so I should go to sleep. ;)

I'm British. Nevertheless it is your choice.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:32
I'm British. Nevertheless it is your choice.

I was always told to avoid phrases such as 'In conclusion' during university, well school.

I guess it's a matter of preference.

Anyway, I look forward to the feedback.

Do not begin (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#) with "In conclusion" or use the word "conclusion" in any form. (Step 6)

Read more: How to Write the Conclusion of an Essay | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#ixzz1oOkLFr9N) How to Write the Conclusion of an Essay | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#ixzz1oOkLFr9N)

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 12:38
I was always told to avoid phrases such as 'In conclusion' during university, well school.

I guess it's a matter of preference.

Do not begin (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#) with "In conclusion" or use the word "conclusion" in any form.

Read more: How to Write the Conclusion of an Essay | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#ixzz1oOkLFr9N) How to Write the Conclusion of an Essay | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_2085208_write-conclusion-essay.html#ixzz1oOkLFr9N)

:|

Conclusion
-ion
Conclus
+ively
Conclusively

The words are definitely related, sir/ma'am.

In conclusion is fine in an essay, as long as the whole thing isn't riddled with it.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:40
:|

Conclusion
-ion
Conclus
+ively
Conclusively

In conclusion is fine in an essay, as long as the whole thing isn't riddled with it.

Just something I dug up. Most likely just preference on the best way to write the conclusion. Not right/wrong.

Gizmotech
March 7th, 2012, 12:46
Util... It must be a Britishism... just like when my friend told me that homely meant a place that felt of home.

I cannot see conclusively being used in the way the OP wrote it though. It makes no sense to me, and Canada has many Britishisms left in its English.

Vaporate: You might consider that they teach American English here, and if a Canadian, a Brit, and whatever back assward country Util comes from disagree with your usage, its likely that a Japanese reader is going to think you can't use English (and therefore shouldn't be involved in its education).

Jiggit
March 7th, 2012, 12:49
1. Never use Ehow for anything ever. It's just a traffic-generator site, they only vaguely check to see if the articles are vaguely plausible.
2. Not using "In conclusion" is a "don't use generic, tired English" thing rather than a actual grammatical error.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:51
Util... It must be a Britishism... just like when my friend told me that homely meant a place that felt of home.

I cannot see conclusively being used in the way the OP wrote it though. It makes no sense to me, and Canada has many Britishisms left in its English.

Vaporate: You might consider that they teach American English here, and if a Canadian, a Brit, and whatever back assward country Util comes from disagree with your usage, its likely that a Japanese reader is going to think you can't use English (and therefore shouldn't be involved in its education).

I'll keep that in mind when reviewing the essay. Just used to the 'British way' of writing. I'll rephrase what util highlighted with that in mind.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:54
1. Never use Ehow for anything ever. It's just a traffic-generator site, they only vaguely check to see if the articles are vaguely plausible.
2. Not using "In conclusion" is a "don't use generic, tired English" thing rather than a actual grammatical error.

Probably why I avoided the phrase. I can see your view though jigg regarding the first essay (mistakes). I will have another go after some sleep.

Prospective
March 7th, 2012, 12:55
I'm an Aussie and our English is still pretty close to the Queen's in formal academic settings. "Conclusively" sounded wrong to me, too.

Maybe it's just chav academic English? Britain is full of all kinds of weird and quirky accents that none of the rest of the English speaking world can understand, after all.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:56
Util... It must be a Britishism... just like when my friend told me that homely meant a place that felt of home.

I cannot see conclusively being used in the way the OP wrote it though. It makes no sense to me, and Canada has many Britishisms left in its English.

Vaporate: You might consider that they teach American English here, and if a Canadian, a Brit, and whatever back assward country Util comes from disagree with your usage, its likely that a Japanese reader is going to think you can't use English (and therefore shouldn't be involved in its education).

Nonetheless it is correct. For the sake of avoiding disqualification though I will change it.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 12:58
I'm an Aussie and our English is still pretty close to the Queen's in formal academic settings. "Conclusively" sounded wrong to me, too.

Maybe it's just chav academic English? Britain is full of all kinds of weird and quirky accents that none of the rest of the English speaking world can understand, after all.

No it's not slang if that is what you are referring to?

just type Conclusively... in google and see a list of journals using it this way.

Gizmotech
March 7th, 2012, 13:01
1. Never use Ehow for anything ever. It's just a traffic-generator site, they only vaguely check to see if the articles are vaguely plausible.
2. Not using "In conclusion" is a "don't use generic, tired English" thing rather than a actual grammatical error.

You don't use in conclusion unless you are making a point. "In conclusion" replaces "therefore", however people use it as a topical marker for finishing their essays, which is rather silly as you should never use therefore in your final paragraph (any claim should already be substantiated)

Pineapples are yellow. People like yellow. In conclusion, we can assume people like pineapples.

However, seeing as most people use it as the topical marker, feel free, but there are better ways to end an essay.

Gizmotech
March 7th, 2012, 13:06
Nonetheless it is correct. For the sake of avoiding disqualification though I will change it.

Umm, I will argue that it isn't correct and is entirely a Britishism (or a variant within your local dialect) as I just searched on a well relied on corpus:

Corpus of Contemporary American English (COCA) (http://corpus.byu.edu/coca/)

And the results do not support your usage in over 541 instances of its use.

EDIT: Just checked the British National Corpus (a little old but still relevant).
166 recorded uses, none of them as a topical marker or fronted adverb.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 13:13
Umm, I will argue that it isn't correct and is entirely a Britishism (or a variant within your local dialect) as I just searched on a well relied on corpus:

Corpus of Contemporary American English (COCA) (http://corpus.byu.edu/coca/)

And the results do not support your usage in over 541 instances of its use.

I checked this source out but I disagree that it is wrong just because it is not depicted the way I wrote it.

Let me see if I can find something on this.

hmm, I have found dozens of usage of this word at the beginning of a sentence but more importantly, I think it would be best to find a reliable source that states this is grammatically wrong?

"Some 62 million died during World War II, civilian and military, on all sides. Conclusively, more people have died in the name of religion than in the name of Communism."

Funnily enough, I haven't found one yet. Assistance?

Not being coy I really want to know, considering I wrote dozens of essays during university this way.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 13:45
Or is it just 'cheeky English' where you sometimes find academics write 'And' at the beginning of a sentence? Seen that a few times while reading for my degree.

Meh, I think it is just rarely used that way, albeit not grammatically wrong. Final conclusion. Unless a source says otherwise.

Must sleep. Back later.

Gizmotech
March 7th, 2012, 14:09
hmm, I have found dozens of usage of this word at the beginning of a sentence but more importantly, I think it would be best to find a reliable source that states this is grammatically wrong?


First we have to find someone who is using it as a topical marker indicating concluding statements instead of as a fronted adverb, replacing therefore/definitively, used to:
putting an end to doubt; decisive; final (Conclusively | Define Conclusively at Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conclusively))



"Some 62 million died during World War II, civilian and military, on all sides. Conclusively, more people have died in the name of religion than in the name of Communism."


This wasn't your usage. This is replacing therefore. You used it as a topical marker indicating the concluding sentence.



Funnily enough, I haven't found one yet. Assistance?

Not being coy I really want to know, considering I wrote dozens of essays during university this way.

Just because you've probably wanked a thousand times doesn't mean you're doing it right, and no one cared to point out your mistakes before.

There is also no such thing as "cheeky English". You cannot start a sentence with a conjunction in any written version of English. Just because an academic is doing it, doesn't make it right.

Also, link your sources. I've linked mine :)

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 14:11
First we have to find someone who is using it as a topical marker indicating concluding statements instead of as a fronted adverb, replacing therefore/definitively, used to:
putting an end to doubt; decisive; final (Conclusively | Define Conclusively at Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conclusively))



This wasn't your usage. This is replacing therefore. You used it as a topical marker indicating the concluding sentence.



Just because you've probably wanked a thousand times doesn't mean you're doing it right, and no one cared to point out your mistakes before.

1. There is also no such thing as "cheeky English". You cannot start a sentence with a conjunction in any written version of English. Just because an academic is doing it, doesn't make it right.

2. Also, link your sources. I've linked mine :)

1. I know that :) Pure slang.

2. Will do.

I have to admit I'm finding this comical now lol.

Anyhow, the only true way of resolving this and that's if someone posts a source saying it is grammatically wrong. (Reliable source).

zero
March 7th, 2012, 14:26
At least two British people (myself and Jiggslit) are telling you it's weird, we've never heard "conclusively" used that way and that it's not a Britishism and you're still going to use it?
The Americans/Canadians/Others are telling you they think it sounds wrong.
Why not just use "In conclusion" just in case you're wrong?

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 14:32
At least two British people (myself and Jiggslit) are telling you it's weird, we've never heard "conclusively" used that way and that it's not a Britishism and you're still going to use it?
The Americans/Canadians/Others are telling you they think it sounds wrong.
Why not just use "In conclusion" just in case you're wrong?

I will just for the sake of the application. It is not worth taking the risk.
My only argument is that it is not grammatically wrong.

Yes I am a stubborn twit lol

coop52
March 7th, 2012, 14:43
"Conclusively" is the adverb form of "conclusive" meaning "sure, definite." You can't substitute it for "in conclusion." Find another way to end your essay. Or, you could just go with "conclusively" and sound stupid.

Antonath
March 7th, 2012, 14:53
I'm another Brit.

"Conclusively" means decisively, definitely, indisputably, unquestionably, and many other words ending in "ly". It does not mean "in conclusion". While you could, in theory, use conclusively where you have, the meaning is still completely different to what you meant.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:03
I'm another Brit.

"Conclusively" means decisively, definitely, indisputably, unquestionably, and many other words ending in "ly". It does not mean "in conclusion". While you could, in theory, use conclusively where you have, the meaning is still completely different to what you meant.

In other words I can use it, just not in the same meaning as 'in conclusion'. I guess that is what I meant.

zero
March 7th, 2012, 15:06
In other words I can use it, just not in the same meaning as 'in conclusion'. I guess that is what I meant.

You can use it any time you like in the correct context. We're not going to ban you from using words. Except "the", you can never use that again.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:09
You can use it any time you like in the correct context. We're not going to ban you from using words. Except "the", you can never use that again.

:D

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:13
No, what you meant is "I realized at least 5 posts ago that I was totally wrong but continued to argue because I didn't want to look dumb. Now I'm trying to say that 'conclusively' could be used, not that it could be used in my essay. Haha! Take that!"

No not really. I can still use the word where I have :) just not the same context as 'in conclusion'.

Antonath
March 7th, 2012, 15:21
No not really. I can still use the word where I have :) just not the same context as 'in conclusion'.
Sure, but the meaning is completely different, and it also makes you sound like a douche.

coop52
March 7th, 2012, 15:26
Why are you even here for help if you're just going to get butthurt when people point out your mistakes? You're of course free to take or leave any advice you get, but you should be a little more aware that we're only trying to help.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:28
Sure, but the meaning is completely different, and it also makes you sound like a douche.

That's a matter of opinion.


Example:

Conclusively, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.

or

Irrefutably, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.
Douche but correct.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:31
Why are you even here for help if you're just going to get butthurt when people point out your mistakes? You're of course free to take or leave any advice you get, but you should be a little more aware that we're only trying to help.

I am extremely grateful. Especially to the poster who reviewed the essay.

I apologise if my posts come across as coy etc. I admit I was wrong about the context of the word but correct in the use of the word.

uthinkimlost?
March 7th, 2012, 15:33
That's a matter of opinion.


Example:

Conclusively, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.

or

Irrefutably, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, role-model and an unofficial ambassador for the students.

Douche but correct.

Douche indeed.

Even if it works this way, it adds unnecessary complexity to an already convoluted sentence that no sane reviewer would even bother to wade through.

Antonath
March 7th, 2012, 15:33
That's a matter of opinion.


Example:

Conclusively, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.

or

Irrefutably, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, role-model and an unofficial ambassador for the students.

Douche but correct.
Dear gods... Ok.

1) I'm the one that told you it was technically correct on the previous page.

2) "Douche but correct". You see me arguing with that? You see where, in the post you quoted, I said


Sure, but the meaning is completely different, and it also makes you sound like a douche.

If you're not a troll, you should consider a change of career.

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 15:35
Dear gods... Ok.

1) I'm the one that told you it was technically correct on the previous page.

2) "Douche but correct". You see me arguing with that? You see where, in the post you quoted, I said

If you're not a troll, you should consider a change of career.

I was waiting for that. :) I was just pulling your chain my friend. lmao

Anyway, joking aside, thanks itil for the review. I will make the recommended changes.

Gizmotech
March 7th, 2012, 21:00
That's a matter of opinion.


Example:

Conclusively, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.

or

Irrefutably, as an employee of Interac, the ALT role is indeed a varied one, acting not only as an assistant language teacher, but also a leader, and a role-model.
Douche but correct.

It is neither conclusive nor irrefutable. ALTs are not leaders, nor are they role-models, given the average ALT is a university graduate without any experience in English in Education and is employed merely because they are capable of breathing and potentially putting a sentence together. If being capable of breathing and speaking English is the image of a role model may I suggest becoming a hobo. They also are role models based on the previously mentioned requirements. Furthermore, as ALTs are generally used as supplements to a teaching staff, it is safe to assume that the individual who is leading the class is responsible for being a leader. Conclusively, I have proven that your comments are a load of bunk, and perhaps you should consider a different career until you are capable of using the English language correctly and understanding when you are being outclassed.

Excellent troll, gave me almost an hour of distraction, however generally good trolls cannot be fought. you sir are a moron. good day.

greengoo
March 7th, 2012, 21:12
[mean things]

vaporate
March 7th, 2012, 23:51
It is neither conclusive nor irrefutable. ALTs are not leaders, nor are they role-models, given the average ALT is a university graduate without any experience in English in Education and is employed merely because they are capable of breathing and potentially putting a sentence together. If being capable of breathing and speaking English is the image of a role model may I suggest becoming a hobo. They also are role models based on the previously mentioned requirements. Furthermore, as ALTs are generally used as supplements to a teaching staff, it is safe to assume that the individual who is leading the class is responsible for being a leader. Conclusively, I have proven that your comments are a load of bunk, and perhaps you should consider a different career until you are capable of using the English language correctly and understanding when you are being outclassed.

Excellent troll, gave me almost an hour of distraction, however generally good trolls cannot be fought. you sir are a moron. good day.



There is nothing wrong when stating an ALT is a role-model and a leader. Both are positive attributes for an ALT. I'm not stating in stone that is what they are. There is an element of truth in this considering some ALT's take charge of the entire class. Is that not 'a leadership' skill?

Anyone would understand that. Hell I'm done talking to a stick in the mud.

Aside from one grammar mistake kindly pointed out by 'uthinkimlost?', I will change and submit it and let the reviewer be the judge.

Will let you know if I pass the initial screening.

Jojo
March 8th, 2012, 07:29
. ALTs are not leaders, nor are they role-models, given the average ALT is a university graduate without any experience in English in Education and is employed merely because they are capable of breathing and potentially putting a sentence together..
Lol really? You actually think that?

Gizmotech
March 8th, 2012, 08:32
Lol really? You actually think that?

Have you looked at your peers recently? Like really looked?

Jojo
March 8th, 2012, 08:54
Have you looked at your peers recently? Like really looked?
Its got nothing to do with who the ALT is - that's the point isn't it? Most ALT's are likely to be the first and possibly only non-Japanese person many of these kids interact with. Like it or not that's the position an ALT defaults into and your attitude about the pointlessness of the job doesn't change that fact. I mean maybe your just being glib ...

Gizmotech
March 8th, 2012, 09:00
Its got nothing to do with who the ALT is - that's the point isn't it? Most ALT's are likely to be the first and possibly only non-Japanese person many of these kids interact with. Like it or not that's the position an ALT defaults into and your attitude about the pointlessness of the job doesn't change that fact. I mean maybe your just being glib ...

....

The last post was me being glib (or maybe realistic... dunno). The post before that was me dismissing the Conclusively and Irrefutably usage in their paragraph to prove a point about the authors lack of understanding concerning fronted adverbs and their meaning/usage.

Jiggit
March 8th, 2012, 09:24
Gizmo, y u so mad?

Gizmotech
March 8th, 2012, 09:30
Gizmo, y u so mad?

Because stupid people are too stupid to realize they're stupid.

vaporate
March 8th, 2012, 09:48
Because stupid people are too stupid to realize they're stupid.

Give it a rest. Turning green over it really is pointless.

TAmember2003
June 4th, 2012, 12:19
So um... I didn't want to start another thread for the same question and it appears that people are... rather... helpful here so I wanted to try my hand at the essay.
So far I don't think I like it... it seems to corny, but a friend of mine told me it's suppose to be, I don't. But I have a small problem at the end... I have a short little paragraph that I really don't know where to put, but I think it adds something to the essay, if anyone can help?

thanks,

Why are you applying for this position?

edited out.

Any thoughts and comments would be much appreciated, thanks!

Lianwen
June 4th, 2012, 13:53
As soon as I read the Dragon Ball z and Sailor moon comments, I stopped reading.

The question is `Why are you applying for this position?` You can say this without telling them you collected all the sailor moon dolls and ran around your home screaming moon prism power.

Try, `In college, I studied anthropology because I like history and culture. I`m particularly interested in Japan because of my studies.`

Instead of everything else.

Try, `I have experience assisting teaching young adults in world history. I found my experience to be enjoyable. I know I can bring my passion in teaching to classrooms in Japan.` instead of that last paragraph. That gleam in the student`s eyes bit?

Keep `I believe that working with Interac coupled with the knowledge that I already have will help further my understanding and appreciation of the world as a whole. This I feel is a particular importance because the world moves closer everyday towards becoming a global community.`

Personally, I think we`re living in a time now where we already are global community, but this is your reason so I won`t touch it.Toss in some `I think my country is cool, and I would like to talk about it` and you`re in.

TAmember2003
June 4th, 2012, 14:12
^ thanks for the input.
I agree with the DBZ and Sailor Moon, but the friend helping thought it would bring a little "personal" to the essay.

But what do you mean by throw in some 'my country is cool?'
Why talk about America in an essay about an ALT position?
I'm a little lost...

Lianwen
June 4th, 2012, 14:29
It might be a little too personal :/

I`m not going to say Interac wants to be JET, but Interac wants to be JET. You talk about global communities. Why even bring it up if you`re not going to talk about how cool it`d be to have an American with your experiences to bring to the cultural exchange table?

From Interac`s site,
`Interac ALTs work in Japanese schools – elementary, junior high and high schools (Interac’s clients). ALTs are the face of the global community and have an important role in helping and supporting students to broaden their horizons and develop international understanding. ALTs are also role models in the wider school community.`

If you have to ask why talk about America in an essay about an ALT position, I`m assuming you just clicked the apply button without even reading what the job entails. Interac wants to see that you`re ready to do some cultural symbiosis and that you`re ready to come to Japan to spew genki and little American flags while turning the children to perfect English speakers.

You don`t have to be all, America is cool because we have the statue of Liberty, but you want to show you`re ready to exchange. It doesn`t even have to be big. You can say something like, `I come from a small town in bumfck Nebraska. This position as an ALT is perfect for me because I want to be able to not only teach English, but share more about how awesome amazing my town is. Global community, blahblahblah.`

TAmember2003
June 4th, 2012, 14:53
^ okay, i get what your saying.
Before you were being a little vague and just saying 'throw some stuff in about america being cool.' didn't make much sense to me, but your were wanting it to go with my 'global community' spill which is brilliance and I cant believe I didn't think about it.

TAmember2003
June 4th, 2012, 15:21
Okay, so taking some of the suggestions from Lianwen (thanks!) I have updated my essay!

(i blanked where I live because I dont want everyone to know, lol)

During my time at university I took a class for Japanese history and found it fascinating. I decided then and there that I wanted to learn as much as possible in the field and took the initiative to do my own research. What I found was a country infused with a rich and diverse history that I couldn’t seem to get enough of. I decided to study anthropology because I like the combination of history and culture. Anthropology has opened my eyes to the many different cultural practices that Japan offers and I would like to experience these cultural practices personally.
I have experience assisting teaching young adults in world history. Along with classroom observation I participated in discussion and classroom activates and found my experience to be enjoyable. I would love to continue the experience in the form of teaching English to Japanese students.
I believe that working with Interac coupled with the knowledge that I already have will help further my understanding and appreciation of the culture as a whole. I feel this is of particular importance because as each day goes by, globalization brings the cultures of the world closer together, and language is now one of the most vital exchanges. Coming from the town of _______, Florida, this position as an ALT is perfect for me because I want to not only be able to teach English, but also share more about my knowledge of American culture in the ever growing global community.


How does this work??
Still a work in progress? Much improved, or just down right worse?

Gizmotech
June 4th, 2012, 15:43
How about answering the question. This sounds like a speech, or a pub ramble while stroking your chin. Answer the question clearly, Expand when necessary to provide context, and keep your JOB in mind more than your personal ambitions.

TAmember2003
June 4th, 2012, 15:49
wow, your so insightful and helpful!
thank-you!

Lianwen
June 4th, 2012, 15:54
Well, to be fair, the question is why you want the job. It should be okay to list your personal ambitions as long as it pertains to the job.

I would toss this sentence `I watched as the teacher would go about her lesson and was amazed at the students and how enthralled they were with every word she said.` You`re not writing a recommendation letter for this teacher.

//I don`t have my glasses on atm, so I can`t really read this anymore.

Gizmotech
June 4th, 2012, 16:14
I want to see in the first line, I want the job because I am a badass motherfucker. Here's why I'm badass....

Don't start telling a story until you've answered the question. This isn't a long setup blonde joke, this is an interview question, and the person reading this REALLY doesn't want to. Make it strong, make it snappy, and bloody hell make it short and to the point. Also, do not assume these people know anything. If you have something relevant to add, add it, so long as it supports your case. Your entire anthropology speech is pointless, as it's not supporting anything, just that you studied it because of Japan. GRATS. Anthropology and Language education are nearly identical fields, so this REALLY matters... NOT.

pika
June 5th, 2012, 06:24
"Anthropology has opened my eyes to the many different cultural practices that Japan offers and I would like to experience these cultural practices personally."

This sentence is redundant and lacks specificity.

"Anthropology has opened my eyes to many Japanese cultural practices that I hope to experience personally, such as...."

If you don't provide a clear example, they might just assume, "another a**hole that wants to visit a soapland/read bucketloads of manga/watch anime live as it is released in Japan/something they don't like in their applicants". Make sure they know the "cultural practices" you want to go for are festivals/going to a temple on New Year's/joining a school club/climbing Mt. Fuji/etc.

TAmember2003
June 5th, 2012, 06:30
^ cool thanks for the comment... I have been slowly working with it and think I can fit that in.
I did go ahead and state that I the reason why i want the job, so ill post an update in a bit!

thanks for the help!

TAmember2003
June 5th, 2012, 10:18
Okay, coolness. I think I have finished the first part. It sits at 296 words and can be cut.
I took almost everyone's suggestions and I think it turned out rather nice.

Why are you applying for this position?

The reason why I’m applying for an assistant language teacher position with Interac is to start a career in youth education. I am particularly interested in teaching in Japan because of my studies of Japanese history and anthropology that I obtained while at university. What I discovered while studying was a country infused with a rich and diverse history that I couldn’t seem to get enough of. Through anthropology I discovered Japanese cultural practices that I hope to experience personally, such as the Sapporo Snow Festival or the Sendai Tanabata Festival.

The reason why I would like to teach comes from my experiences while in high school. I participated in a semester long assistant teaching program where I was the assistant to the world history teacher. A part of the program was to observe students in the classroom, it was during those observations that I realized that I wanted to teach. Witnessing those ‘lightbulb’ moments when students started to understand something that they didn’t before was an experience that I enjoyed and would love to continue that experience in the form of teaching English to Japanese students.

I believe that working with Interac coupled with the knowledge that I already have will help further my understanding and appreciation of the country as a whole. I feel this is of particular importance because as each day goes by, globalization brings the cultures of the world closer together, and language is now one of the most vital exchanges. Coming from the town of _____, Florida, this position as an ALT is perfect for me because I want to not only be able to teach English, but also share more about my knowledge of American culture in the ever growing global community.

Gizmotech
June 5th, 2012, 10:23
This is better, much better, now take out the fluff. Short and concise.

You:The reason why I’m applying for an assistant language teacher position with Interac is to start a career in youth education (21)
Me: The reason I want to work with Interac is to start a career in youth education. (16)
5 less words, straight to the point.

Note the difference between applying and work for. Applying sounds like that's all you want to do. Screw that. You want to WORK for them. Make it clear and sell it.

TAmember2003
June 5th, 2012, 10:29
okay, so by fluff you think everything is fine I just should reword sentences to make them shorter and less word-ie.

The content is good, work on fluff. I can do this!

TAmember2003
June 5th, 2012, 10:38
Im also thinking about this line:
I feel this is of particular importance because as each day goes by, globalization brings the cultures of the world closer together, and language is now one of the most vital exchanges.

I dont think it is needed in the essay, anyone agree?
I can cut it and my point still comes across, yes?

pika
June 5th, 2012, 13:04
The reason why I’m applying for an assistant language teacher position with Interac is to start a career in youth education.
The reason why I want to work with Interac is to start a career in youth education. (from Gizmo)
I am particularly interested in teaching in Japan because of my studies of Japanese history and anthropology that I obtained while at university.
I developed an interest in teaching in Japan during my university anthropological studies on the nation's history and culture.
What I discovered while studying was a country infused with a rich and diverse history that I couldn’t seem to get enough of.
What I discovered in my courses was Japan's rich and diverse history, which I will continue learning more about living and working in the country.
Through anthropology I discovered Japanese cultural practices that I hope to experience personally, such as the Sapporo Snow Festival or the Sendai Tanabata Festival.

The reason why I would like to teach comes from my experiences while in high school.
I participated in a semester long assistant teaching program where I was the assistant to the world history teacher.
My motivation for becoming a teacher stems from high school experiences participating in a semester long assistant teaching program working with the world history teacher. (although from your wording it sounds like you did this as a high school student, if not the sentence should be, "My motivation for becoming a teacher stems from participation in a semester long assistant teaching program working with the world history teacher at a high school.")
A part of the program was to observe students in the classroom, it was during those observations that I realized that I wanted to teach. Witnessing those ‘lightbulb’ moments when students started to understand something that they didn’t before was an experience that I enjoyed and would love to continue that experience in the form of teaching English to Japanese students.
The program required me to observe students in the classroom, and seeing the value of providing interesting and effective lessons made me decide to become a teacher. As an assistant language teacher in Japan I hope to witness those 'lightbulb' moments of understanding in students studying English.


I believe that working with Interac coupled with the knowledge that I already have will help further my understanding and appreciation of the country as a whole.
Can you make this sentence something about what you do for Interac/Japanese students rather than focusing on your benefit? Also, don't start with "I believe..." and just skip to "Working with Interac...", it's more effective in my opinion.
I feel this is of particular importance because as each day goes by, globalization brings the cultures of the world closer together, and language is now one of the most vital exchanges.
Again, the reviewer doesn't care so much what you believe or feel, start with "This is of particular importance..." otherwise, good sentence.
Coming from the town of _____, Florida, this position as an ALT is perfect for me because I want to not only be able to teach English, but also share more about my knowledge of American culture in the ever growing global community.
Whenever possible avoid using negatives (I want to not only).
Coming from the town of ____, Florida, working as an ALT is a perfect opportunity to teach English, as well as share my knowledge of American culture in the ever growing global community.

Buuuut, as long as you're polite, punctual, presentable, energetic, and don't have horrible misspellings/grammar issues, I think you would be fine even if you don't take any of this advice and apply with the essay you wrote yourself. Good luck!

Gizmotech
June 5th, 2012, 13:10
Remember they aren't looking for an academic they're looking for someone to explain and teach English. One of the most important skills you can have is the ability to keep things simple.

Pika has a very good point. They don't care what you will get out of it, they care what they will get out of you. JET cares about what you want Interac is a company which cares what it gets out of you.

TAmember2003
June 5th, 2012, 21:40
coolness, thanks for all the help!

TAmember2003
June 7th, 2012, 10:29
Okay so here is the 2nd essay:
Words: 263

What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

I expect Interac ALTs to be the official face of the global community in helping and supporting students in broadening their horizons in international understanding. In achieving this goal ALT’s can be involved in conversational practices, explaining vocabulary, and working on grammar with students. Since there are three different types of schools in Japan – elementary, junior high, and high schools – I can expect to teach in at least two different institutions.

An ALT position will require a positive attitude, patience, and the ability to have fun. Not only are ALT’s responsible for forming the foundation of student’s communication abilities they also foster a positive attitude towards understanding foreign languages. There might be a time where the main teacher has other duties and I can expect an Interac ALT to teach classes on their own. If during any down time as an ALT I can utilize my time and help other teachers and staff in current school projects.

Because ALTs are also role models in the wider school community I can expect to maintain a high professional standard and appearance at all times. I can accomplish this by demonstrating a desire to fully immerse myself in the culture and establish a professional rapport with students, teachers, and other ALTs. Since ALTs are unofficial ambassadors to their native country they can be looked upon to eliminate any misconceptions that have been created. Not only are ALTs assistant language teachers, but also leaders and role-models. By committing to hard work and calling a new place home, ALTs can expect a whole new world of possibilities.


thanks for the help people!

Gizmotech
June 7th, 2012, 11:45
Okay so here is the 2nd essay:
Words: 263

What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

I expect Interac ALTs to be the official face of the global community in helping and supporting students in broadening their horizons in international understanding. In achieving this goal ALT’s can be involved in conversational practices, explaining vocabulary, and working on grammar with students. Since there are three different types of schools in Japan – elementary, junior high, and high schools – I can expect to teach in at least two different institutions.


The color coding is to make you see how unrelated that paragraph is. The second is the Yellow part is rather odd. I do not know how interac handles its contracts, but if it's anything like JET, if you're at SHS you're unlikely to be at anything else, whereas if you are at JHS/ES you are likely to be at only JHS/ES.



An ALT position will require a positive attitude, patience, and the ability to have fun. Not only are ALT’s responsible for forming the foundation of student’s communication abilities they also foster a positive attitude towards understanding foreign languages. There might be a time where the main teacher has other duties and I can expect an Interac ALT to teach classes on their own. If during any down time as an ALT I can utilize my time and help other teachers and staff in current school projects.

Orly?
You're missing the best skill and the only one that really matters. Adaptability. As an Interac ALT you should also never be left in a class alone. Don't even bring it up, (same is said of JET as well). To hell with your other teachers, you need to focus on what YOU will do better during that time. Everyone else is irrelevant.



Because ALTs are also role models in the wider school community I can expect to maintain a high professional standard and appearance at all times. I can accomplish this by demonstrating a desire to fully immerse myself in the culture and establish a professional rapport with students, teachers, and other ALTs. Since ALTs are unofficial ambassadors to their native country they can be looked upon to eliminate any misconceptions that have been created. Not only are ALTs assistant language teachers, but also leaders and role-models. By committing to hard work and calling a new place home, ALTs can expect a whole new world of possibilities.


thanks for the help people!
I can be expected to...
Green sentence has two separate parts. First, you are not expected to immerse yourself in Japan at all. You are expected to be their outlet to the rest of the world, not their own culture. The part about professionalism is self-evident and doesn't need to be addressed.
Brown is just BS. You won't fix anything, don't even bother having lofty goals. If stereotypes could be fixed by ALTs, it would've been done 20 years ago.
Red is said twice.
I do like blue though.

TAmember2003
June 7th, 2012, 11:55
Thanks, I actually got the yellow part from the interac website, thats why i included it.
I cant believe i forgot about being able to adapt to a new environment... man! and good looking out for the double red... I must of looked ast that for an hour and never noticed...

But quick question, this part of the essay is about what you expect...
I know "professionalism is self-evident" but shouldnt stuff like that be included because it is expected?

thanks!

Gizmotech
June 7th, 2012, 12:00
Okay, if you feel you must address that point, then separate it into it's own element. Don't tack it onto the end of an existing thought.

The big thing I'd like to point out, is yet again you didn't answer the question. What are you expecting to do in the classroom, who are you expecting to work with, what type of objectives are you expecting to work towards, what levels of students do you expect. You're talking about a lot of this stuff and forgetting that this isn't a cultural exchange you're applying for, it's a job. What do you expect to do, because if you expect nothing you will get nothing.

Jackee
January 24th, 2013, 06:01
Here's mine. Would this be ok?

Why are you applying for this position?
After discovering Japanese through university, my interest in the language increased and this has led me to self-study Japanese as much as possible for the past four years. I wanted to test my skills so I traveled to Japan several times before. The experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan. Applying for this position is a gateway to that opportunity and it would enhance my education in Japanese language and culture. Although I have no teaching experience, I did take a course in teaching English as a foreign language and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I feel working with Interac will benefit personally and be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication and building relationships. A good example is through my current job at a hotel where I would build good relationships with many guests from many countries and providing good service to them.


What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?
I expect an ALT for Interac to help and support students in their education whether they are in elementary, junior high or high school. This could be by providing enjoyable lessons by incorporating listening, reading and speaking activities. They are there to develop students international understanding and knowledge. They are also the role models for the students where they need someone to look up to as they grow older and are slowly being integrated into society. An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and must be acted with professionalism. Patience, positive, long-term commitment and hard work are vital to the ALT position with Interac. The position itself is rewarding and provides excellent challenges as well as developing their own teaching ability.

Gizmotech
January 24th, 2013, 08:52
Here's mine. Would this be ok?

Why are you applying for this position?
After discovering Japanese through university, my interest in the language increased and this has led me to self-study Japanese as much as possible for the past four years. I wanted to test my skills so I traveled to Japan several times before. The experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan. Applying for this position is a gateway to that opportunity and it would enhance my education in Japanese language and culture. Although I have no teaching experience, I did take a course in teaching English as a foreign language and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I feel working with Interac will benefit personally and be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication and building relationships. A good example is through my current job at a hotel where I would build good relationships with many guests from many countries and providing good service to them.


Let me highlight things for you:
Things that matter to the job
Things that don't

Remember, why are you applying for this job is about what you can bring to the job, not your personal motivations and aspirations. They aren't invested in you as an individual, they are looking for an employee capable of accomplishing the task.



What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?
I expect an ALT for Interac to help and support students in their education whether they are in elementary, junior high or high school. This could be by providing enjoyable lessons by incorporating listening, reading and speaking activities. They are there to develop students international understanding and knowledge. They are also the role models for the students where they need someone to look up to as they grow older and are slowly being integrated into society. An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and must be acted with professionalism. Patience, positive, long-term commitment and hard work are vital to the ALT position with Interac. The position itself is rewarding and provides excellent challenges as well as developing their own teaching ability.

The red above is the common mistake of ALTs. We are not role models in this society, we are entertaining interactive photocopy machines with voice activated features and possibly with a built in translator.

The rest of the above paragraph is actually relatively well done, though I find the three initial sentences contrast slightly as it's rather jarring that you've described the entire event, then re-described it in completely unrelated terms. You need to clean up the flow of that paragraph slightly, try reading it out loud.

notjim
January 24th, 2013, 09:27
I feel working with Interac will benefit personally and be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication and building relationships. A good example is through my current job at a hotel where I would build good relationships with many guests from many countries and providing good service to them.

I feel working with Interac will benefit me personally and I will be able to demonstrate my abilities... or I feel working with Interac will benefit me personally and demonstrate my ...
.. I would build good relationships ... and provide...

Make sure you read the sentence rather that just running it through a grammar checker. I'm no English teacher or 'nothin' but reading those sentences was jarring.



They are there to develop students international understanding and knowledge. They are also the role models for the students where they need someone to look up to as they grow older and are slowly being integrated into society. An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and must be acted with professionalism. The position itself is rewarding and provides excellent challenges as well as developing their own teaching ability.

So... you use "They" so many times it is difficult for a reader to tell to whom you are refering.

They (the ALTs) are there to develop students' <- note the necessary punctuation... They (the ALTs) are also role models for the students where they (the students) need someone... An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them (? Interac)... as well as developing their (the ALT's).

Plus as Giz said, know thy audience.

Gizmotech
January 24th, 2013, 09:33
Ya, no point in fixing the big grammar mistakes until the content is in order. Fix the content first, then we can fix your English. (which in itself is a scary enough proposition for someone going to be an English teacher...)

notjim
January 24th, 2013, 09:36
.... Fiiiiine, yes, that's true. It's just, man, grammar mistakes in an essay applying to be an English teacher? I'd throw the application away after reading something with so many obvious mistakes.

Plus, Thursday morning be REAAALLLY slow mang.

zombiekelly
January 24th, 2013, 15:00
For the first question, I put that I related to the students since I had a tough time learning Japanese in rural Pennsylvania (where there are maybe five Japanese total), and that I really wanted to help those in a similar situation.

The second question was pretty much "I'll be flexible since any plans I make won't play out perfectly" with a little "I'll be good since they'll be watching me as the token foreigner".

My ECC app was all "me me me" and they never called me back. Interac's was "you, you, the students, Japan...." and now I'm waiting for placement.

hunterofpeace
January 26th, 2013, 18:32
I also wouldn't point out that you have no teaching experience. They probably know that from looking at your CV. No need to waste space by pointing out what you can't offer. Just emphasize what you CAN offer. And rather than say you enjoyed your EFL class, maybe say what you learned from it instead... because whether or not you enjoyed it holds little relevance to them.

Jackee
January 30th, 2013, 01:33
Hows this for the first question?

Why are you applying for this position?

The reason why I want to work for Interac is to start a career in youth education. I developed an interest in teaching English after I began doing language exchanges with my Japanese friends. Although I have no teaching experience, I did take a course in teaching English as a foreign language and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The course involved me gaining a solid understanding of the principles of teaching English as a second language. Also I gained a wealth of practical ideas on how to make a lesson fruitful and exciting for students.

I am interested in teaching in Japan after discovering Japanese through university. My interest in the language increased and this has led me to self-study Japanese as much as possible for the past four years. I wanted to test my skills so I travelled to Japan several times before. The experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan. Applying for this position is a gateway to that opportunity and it would enhance my education in Japanese language and culture.

I feel working with Interac will benefit me personally and I will be able to demonstrate my abilities in professional communication and building relationships. A good example is through my current job at a hotel where I would build good relationships with many guests from many countries and providing good service to them.

Gizmotech
January 30th, 2013, 06:53
Better, but still pointless to interac.

Stop talking about what YOU get out of it and think about what THEY get out of you.

Lianwen
January 30th, 2013, 14:25
^Basically this.


I want to work for Interac to start a career in youth education. I have an interest in teaching English because of language exchanges with my Japanese friends. I don`t have any teaching experience, but I did take a course in teaching English as a foreign language.The course gave me the experience to plan lessons and an idea of what it is like to team-teach with another teacher, which I like doing.

KISS (the simpler you keep your answers, the less likely you`ll be to go off into flowery language as if you forgot what the question was)

Gizmotech
January 30th, 2013, 14:32
I was getting there Lianwen... I just wanted to see if they could rewrite all that drivel into something that pitched it to Interac as opposed to recounting their life history.

Lianwen
January 30th, 2013, 14:37
I know, Gizmo. I kinda jumped ahead out of boredom and did an example.

Selphy
February 3rd, 2013, 04:16
I was hoping to get some help or critiques on my essay answers as well.

Why:

I am applying for this position because it has been an ambition of mine to become a language teacher. I was always interested in languages and found myself attracted to the Japanese culture and language since junior high school. This interest has led me to enroll in Japanese classes and associate with international Japanese students which became the basis for my goals. Throughout my encounters with these international students I found out that many of them had very little to no English language skills. I found this odd since as far as I knew Japanese students had mandatory English language classes starting in junior high school. Many of them explained to me that their English teachers in school had little experience with English themselves or could not make the classes interesting or engaging. This was a stark contrast to my experience in language learning. I found language learning to be an extremely rewarding experience because not only did I acquire the skills to speak, write, and understand another language, it opened up a new culture to me. This experience set me on my path of aiming to be an ALT. I want to be a in position where I can help kids learn the joys and benefits of learning a new language. Interac's philosophy and value also resonated with me. The idea of enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world is something I feel very strongly about. I believe that proper language acquisition should be accompanied with cultural education to ensure effective use in a social context. Basic comprehension is necessary, but that alone cannot lead to fluency. Cultural knowledge is a key aspect to understanding everyday situations and being able to respond to them naturally. Interac believes that there are differences between individuals and I agree. I also feel that acknowledging these differences is the first step towards gaining a greater understanding of each other. I feel that this is something Interac strives for.

What:

I expect that being an ALT with Interac means I will be able to make a difference in the lives of students, faculty, and the community through education and presence. I look forward to the prospects of assisting a Japanese teacher of the English language or possibly managing my own class with assistance. Through classroom interactions, I want to work with students to be able to bring out their full potential, inspiring their education with my experiences, and celebrating their successes as well as encouraging them to persist through the challenges of learning English. It is my goal that students will see English language learning as more than extra exam preparations and instead will gain confidence and a better command of the language by having meaningful interactions and conversations, both with me and their fellow students. I hope that my position allows me to reach out to the students and to show them the joys of learning a new language and all that accompanies it. I believe it is also imperative of me to learn firsthand about the Japanese culture. With this knowledge in hand, I hope to use it to better my teaching skills and guarantee an enriching experience for myself and the students. I expect my duties as an ALT to extend outside the classroom as well. Being an ALT means being a representative of both the sponsoring company and the originating country. I expect that in order to live up to the standards of Interac and its philosophies, I must act with dignity and professionalism at all times as well as proactively seeking to share American culture and customs in a mutual exchange with the community. In doing so, I believe that together we can see past our differences and work towards building a bridge of harmony between our two cultures. Finally, I feel that being an ALT with Interac is not simply just a job but an important duty if chosen. It means being a role model to the students, a trusted colleague to the faculty, and an ambassador to the community.

Thanks in advance for checking out my stuff and help.

Gizmotech
February 3rd, 2013, 07:21
Alright,

First, you seem to have a pretty good grasp of selling yourself for the position. I think it's rather wordy though, which will make it difficult for nonnative speakers to follow.

You seem to be mixing your what's and your why's a bit. Why is "Why should you hire me" not explaining your views on language acquisition. What is "What is the job of an alt" not what your goals and visions are.

The ideas are all there, the content just needs to be cleaned up, simplified, and maybe slightly less preachy/judgemental.

Selphy
February 3rd, 2013, 09:09
For sure. Thanks for the input. Not that I'm trying to dump all the work on other people but what exactly do you think I should simplify. I know I tend to get wordy sometimes which is why it is hard for me to decide what to cut out or simplify.

As for saying things like my opinion on language acquisition, and my goals, do you think if I rephrase them in a way to answer the question, they will still be fine? Or should I just remove them all together.

For example: my goals are to share in students success etc becomes "I expect that being an alt of interac means sharing in students success blah blah blah."

Gizmotech
February 3rd, 2013, 11:01
Okay, here's your first exercise as a teacher. Make this understandable to a ten year old.

Selphy
February 3rd, 2013, 11:58
I guess you know better than I do but it seems weird that I should be writing it with a 10-year old audience in mind.

Basically you're saying that the people reading it won't have as great of a grasp with English as I am assuming? And as such, I need to use as much simple language as I can?

Gizmotech
February 3rd, 2013, 12:27
Exactly.

The assumption that the people who will read this have great English is a BAD assumption to make. There is no guarantee that the person who reads it is capable of University level English. Therefore, keep it simple. Simple sentence structure, more common English.

You'll also see when you try to simplify the language that you've got a bit of a ramble in what you're talking about, which will help you reorganize your paragraphs a bit more.

tav1990
February 4th, 2013, 09:08
Here is my question 1 response so far. I'm having some difficulty with the opening sentence(s). lol

I know I need to add more, but I feel like it reads pretty well. I'm just wondering if I'm headed in a good direction!

" In 2011, I made the best decision of my life and studied abroad in Japan. The experiences I had there were absolutely amazing and I would relish the opportunity to return to Japan to live and work. Working for Interac as an ALT, I would be provided with the opportunity to do just that. Living in rural Wisconsin, I find it challenging to learn Japanese without having a native speaker to assist me. I believe that the same holds true for Japanese students who are learning English in rural areas of Japan. While working for Interac, I know that my knowledge and skills of the English language will be put to good use by helping students learn and improve their English skills. With my positive and friendly attitude, I will not only be able to help these students learn English, but make it fun for them as well. If hired, I know that I will be able to meet and exceed expectations and become an asset to Interac."


Thanks guys :)

Gizmotech
February 4th, 2013, 09:34
" In 2011, I made the best decision of my life and studied abroad in Japan. The experiences I had there were absolutely amazing and I would relish the opportunity to return to Japan to live and work. Working for Interac as an ALT, I would be provided with the opportunity to do just that. Living in rural Wisconsin, I find it challenging to learn Japanese without having a native speaker to assist me. I believe that the same holds true for Japanese students who are learning English in rural areas of Japan. While working for Interac, I know that my knowledge and skills of the English language will be put to good use by helping students learn and improve their English skills. With my positive and friendly attitude, I will not only be able to help these students learn English, but make it fun for them as well. If hired, I know that I will be able to meet and exceed expectations and become an asset to Interac."

Gizmo's interpretation:
Stuff that matters
Stuff that doesn't

I'm very happy there is more red in this one than recently. Still desperately needs to be less me me me and more what me me me can do for you.

tav1990
February 4th, 2013, 09:45
Thanks for the fast response! Time for some editing :P

tav1990
February 4th, 2013, 09:47
oooohh question I just thought of

Would it be a good idea to include that I've been over there before and that I will be able to adapt quickly (no culture shock) or would that just be a waste of space?

zombiekelly
February 4th, 2013, 09:48
For the record, this was mine and I got hired:


I am applying for an ALT position because it has always been one of my goals to live and work in Japan, and through Interac I can help children with their own communication needs. Since I was small I have always loved Asian culture, especially that of Japan. When I was earning my Bachelor's Degree, I had a chance to visit several places in the Kanto region. While I was there, I was amazed how many people were eager to communicate despite the language barrier. It really motivated me to study Japanese, and I was always glad to help conversation partners use English. Unfortunately, I live in the middle of Pennsylvania where there are little to no native Japanese speakers. After I returned and began studying through my university, I found it hard to develop any real conversational skill in Japanese. This made me empathize with those in rural Japan, who likely encounter similar situations. I would love to help rural children learn English and expand their communication potential. I also feel that working in a traditional school setting with Interac would be much more rewarding than a conversation school setting. By working with children in classrooms, interacting with teachers, and visiting clubs, I can learn a lot about Japanese culture that is not usually taught in American classes, and in turn offer information about my own primary school experience. I have always been one to help friends and coworkers when they have trouble learning something new, and I would love the chance to do the same for the children of Japan.


Lots of fluff I suppose, but it will give you an idea of how low they'll go.

Gizmotech
February 4th, 2013, 11:43
oooohh question I just thought of

Would it be a good idea to include that I've been over there before and that I will be able to adapt quickly (no culture shock) or would that just be a waste of space?

Sure, adaptability is an excellent thing to mention, especially if it's actually true.


For the record, this was mine and I got hired:
Lots of fluff I suppose, but it will give you an idea of how low they'll go.

Lots of fluff for sure, but there are some nuggets in there that are quite good. Zombie does make an excellent point, that what they accept is lower than the standard I use in the thread, which is totally true. I tend to get heavy handed because I mean hell, if you're gonna do it, you might as well learn how to do it REALLY well, as opposed to getting a *ya, I suppose that's good enough*.

What's really important about Zombies post is it shows a bit of thought into how the job works rather than just being all I love Japan. Rural vs City, empathizing with situation, Actual school vs Juku, Sharing culture from the perspective of receiving and giving in contrast, helpful, these are all good points that are brought up, and the bit of personal history at the front is just fluff.

Selphy
February 5th, 2013, 10:47
Can you give these two a whirl? I tried cutting junk out and making it sound "simpler" which is actually harder than it seems.

Why

I want to work with Interac as an ALT because it has been one of my goals to become a language teacher in Japan and help kids experience the joys of learning a new language. My interest in the Japanese language and culture began in junior high and has only gotten stronger since. This led me to enrolling in Japanese classes and spending more time talking to Japanese international students. I was surprised at how little actual English skills they had. Many of them told me it was because their teachers in Japan did not have much experience with English or could not make the class fun and interesting for them. This was weird to me because I found that learning Japanese was a very rewarding experience. Not only was I able to learn to speak, write, and read in a new language, I also learned a lot about the culture. This experience set me on the path of trying to become an ALT. I would love to help kids learn a new language and teach them the joys and benefits of language learning. I believe that teaching in a school setting through Interac would be a more rewarding experience than teaching at a conversation school. By teaching in a school, I can be a bigger part of the students' lives, assist Japanese teachers, and share my own experiences in school and life as well as learn a lot about the Japanese culture that I could never learn about in classes. I feel very strongly about Interac's philosophy about enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world and would love to chance to do this for students of Japan.

What

I expect that being an ALT with Interac means making a difference in the lives of the students, teachers, and the community. I look forward to working with a Japanese teacher of English and working with the students. Through our interactions, I hope to bring out their full potential, inspire their education with my experiences, celebrate their successes as well as encouraging them to persist through the challenges of learning English. I believe that as an ALT, it is my goal that students will gain confidence and a better command of the English language by having meaningful interactions, both with me and their fellow students. As an ALT, I expect to learn more about the Japanese culture so I can make connections between our two languages and culture. With this knowledge, I hope to better my teaching skills and make it easier for students to grasp the English language. I expect my duties as an ALT to extend outside the classroom as well. Being an ALT means being a representative of Interac and America. That means in order to live up to the standards of Interac and its philosophies, I must act with dignity and professionalism at all times as well as proactively seeking to share American culture and customs in a mutual exchange with the community. Finally, I feel that being an ALT with Interac means being a role model to the students, a trusted colleague to the faculty, and an ambassador to the community. Together we can work to ensure a rewarding and meaningful education for the students.

I tried taking things out that didn't seem necessary but I feel like there is still some fluff and ego-stroking/preachy/judgemental/etc bs.

Gizmotech
February 5th, 2013, 11:03
Can you give these two a whirl? I tried cutting junk out and making it sound "simpler" which is actually harder than it seems.

Why

I want to work with Interac as an ALT because my goal is to become a language teacher in Japan and help kids experience the joys of learning a new language. My interest in the Japanese language and culture began in junior high. This led me to enrolling in Japanese classes and spending more time talking to Japanese international students. I was surprised at how little actual English skills they had. I would love to help kids learn a new language and teach them the joys and benefits of language learning. I believe that teaching in a school setting through Interac would be a more rewarding experience than teaching at a conversation school. By teaching in a school, I can be a bigger part of the students' lives, assist Japanese teachers, as well as learn a lot about the Japanese culture that I could never learn about in classes. I feel very strongly about Interac's philosophy about enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world and would love to chance to do this for students of Japan.

Alright, I went through this part and deleted fluff.
Still doesn't tell me why I should hire you though. What do you bring to the job that every other liberal arts major with a superiority complex doesn't?



What

I expect that being an ALT with Interac means making a difference in the lives of the students, teachers, and the community. Through our interactions, I hope to bring out their full potential, celebrate their successes as well as encouraging them to persist through the challenges of learning English. I believe that as an ALT, it is my goal that students will gain confidence and a better command of the English language by having meaningful interactions, both with me.

//okay.

As an ALT, I expect to learn more about the Japanese culture so I can make connections between our two languages and culture. With this knowledge, I hope to better my teaching skills and make it easier for students to grasp the English language.

//Compress into one simple sentence.

I expect my duties as an ALT to extend outside the classroom as well.

//Never volunteer. EVER. Especially in writing.

Being an ALT means being a representative of Interac and America. That means in order to live up to the standards of Interac and its philosophies, I must act with dignity and professionalism at all times. Finally, I feel that being an ALT with Interac means being a role model to the students, a trusted colleague to the faculty. Together we can work to ensure a rewarding and meaningful education for the students.

//okay.

I tried taking things out that didn't seem necessary but I feel like there is still some fluff and ego-stroking/preachy/judgemental/etc bs.

I went through this part and deleted far less stuff, much better. That being said, still feels kinda preachy. It also doesn't really describe the JOB, but the BS Internationalization crap.

Something to think about:
Why is "Why should you hire me. This is what I can do, this is what I bring to the table, this is what I hope to do"
What is "What do you think the JOB is. The job is X. The job involves Y. My Responsibilities are Q"

tav1990
February 5th, 2013, 12:02
Here is my #2 answer so far..

"I expect an ALT working for Interac to help and support students in their education whether they are in elementary, junior high or high school. This can be accomplished by providing enjoyable lessons that incorporate listening, reading, and speaking activities. Having a positive and friendly attitude is expected of an ALT, so that they can help motivate and encourage students. Since an ALT working for Interact could be working in multiple schools and with different age groups, they are expected to be able to adapt to many different situations. An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac, and they are expected to represent Interac through hard work and integrity. They are expected to be dedicated to their work and be prepared to make the long term commitment that is required of an ALT. They are expected to be prepared for class every day."

I know I need to add more. Also still trying to come up with a good closure for this question :P

Thanks again!

Gizmotech
February 5th, 2013, 12:09
Better, now keep adding. Remember, an interac is not a teacher, they are an assistant.

tav1990
February 5th, 2013, 12:32
Do you think this sentence would fit in well after the sentence about working with multiple schools and age groups?

" An ALT is expected to be able to adapt to the teaching style of each teacher that they will be assisting."


It points out the fact that they are an assistant, and not a teacher. lol

Selphy
February 5th, 2013, 12:43
Why

I want to work with Interac as an ALT because my goal is to become a language teacher in Japan and help kids experience the joys of learning a new language. My interest in the Japanese language and culture began in junior high. This led me to enrolling in Japanese classes and spending more time talking to Japanese international students. I was surprised at how little actual English skills they had. I am sure that many students in Japan do not have the luxury of speaking and spending time with a native speaker of English. I would love to help those students gain more confidence and skill in English and teach them the joys and benefits of language learning. I have had the experience of working with English-learning children at a prep school as well as tutoring international students during my undergraduate career. Even though I adapted to each students' individual style, I do not feel I was able to truly help them because our time together was so short. I believe I would be able to spend more time ensuring students grasped the material teaching in a school setting through Interac as opposed to an conversation school. By teaching in a school, I can be a bigger part of the students' lives, assist Japanese teachers, as well as learn a lot about the Japanese culture that I could never learn about in classes. I feel very strongly about Interac's philosophy about enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world and would love to chance to do this for students of Japan.


Red: Desire
Green: Fluff/Backstory/ Build Up
Blue: Segue
Purple: Goal
Orange: What I Bring In Terms of Experience
Gray: Opportunity. By this I mean to say that this is what they provide for me, if accepted

I'm color coding this because I think I'm having the most trouble with this part as opposed to the other. I know I keep adding one part you keep taking out but I don't feel like it flows as well without it. That's why I labelled it segue.

What:

I expect that being an ALT with Interac means making a difference in the lives of the students and teachers by ensuring a positive learning environment. By assisting and working with the Japanese teachers, I hope to bring out their full potential, celebrate their successes as well as encourage them to persist through the challenges of learning English. I believe that as an ALT, it is my responsibility that students will gain confidence and a better command of the English language by having meaningful interactions with me and their teachers. As an ALT, I expect to make connections between English and Japanese by learning more about the culture so I can help explain things in an easier manner for the students to understand. While the Japanese teachers are there to teach, I believe it is my duty to ensure proper use in a social context as well as understanding everyday situations and being able to respond to them naturally. Being an ALT means being a representative of Interac and America. That means in order to live up to the standards of Interac and its philosophies, I must act with dignity and professionalism at all times. Finally, I feel that being an ALT with Interac means being a role model to the students, a trusted colleague to the faculty. Together we can work to ensure a rewarding and meaningful education for the students.


Red: What the job is
Sandy Brown: What the job involves
Green: My responsibility

I make the distinction that I am assisting a teacher mainly because I feel like they want to know that I know that they want me to know that.

Gizmotech
February 5th, 2013, 13:17
Selphy, I feel your what is solid enough now.

Your why still needs work.
Your segue is actually just an assumption which could be rather insulting. The chances of you being in a school which has never had an ALT before are pretty slim. They will have most likely had the chance whether they've used it or not.
Second your opportunity sentences. What does that have anything to do with the job. Seriously, think about it. They're not hiring you for your benefit, they are hiring you for their benefit. This isn't JET, it's not an exchange program, it's a job where you provide the teacher with on hand voice activated photocopy functions and potentially built in translation features. Yes there are notable similarities between the way they are advertised, but they are not the same thing. Focus on the JOB, why you're good for the job, what you bring to the job, not what you get out of the job.

Your first fluff sentences, though totally fluff, is a now a nice summary of your motivations. This works well.


@Tav, don't think in individual sentences but in groups of sentences that illustrate a point. It does have to flow a bit after all, and it really shouldn't look like the sentence jenga that you get here in Japan :P

Selphy
February 5th, 2013, 13:57
When I say opportunity, I don't exact mean it is my benefits. I like to think I phrased it in a way that while yes, it does benefit me, it also is something that benefits them.

The way I feel like I phrased it for an outside view is "He couldn't give his full effort in a conversation/prep school. He may have untapped potential which if we hire, may bloom and we can take advantage of/or use."

I may be making a bit too much of assumptions on their part of thinking as well as assuming some subpar English speaking Japanese guy will get my underlying meanings. Having just typed that, I think I may change it.

As for the segue, I can see how you would think that and will rephrase it in a way that isn't insulting. Still, I really felt like I needed a transition between the two thoughts.


I want to work with Interac as an ALT because my goal is to become a language teacher in Japan and help kids experience the joys of learning a new language. My interest in the Japanese language and culture began in junior high. This led me to enrolling in Japanese classes and spending more time talking to Japanese international students. I was surprised at how little actual English skills they had. I spent a lot of time working with them and feel if they had more opportunities to spend time with an ALT or native speaker of English in school, they would be better prepared to tackle the difficulties of English and international education. I would love to help younger students gain more confidence and skill in English and teach them the joys and benefits of language learning as a foundation to build upon. I have had the experience of working with English-learning children at a prep school as well as tutoring international students during my undergraduate career. By teaching a variety of students and kids, I learned how to adapt and modify my teaching style to fit each individual. During most of my part time jobs, I also found myself tasked with training new employees because of my patience. By utilizing these skills while working with Interac, I feel like I can ensure a positive learning experience for the students. By teaching in a school, I can be a bigger part of the students' lives, assist Japanese teachers, as well as learn a lot about the Japanese culture that I could never learn about in classes. I feel very strongly about Interac's philosophy about enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world and would love to chance to do this for students of Japan.

Let's give this a spin.

Gizmotech
February 5th, 2013, 14:21
You missed both assumptions
a) They don't spend time with an ALT
b) You will spend more time with them than the ALT they had access to.


Regardless, I'm gonna tell you to run with it, you'll probably get accepted anyways. That being said, there is nothing in your "why" that makes me want to hire you because you are talking way too much about what you're gonna get out of it, and how you think you will change the world, rather than what you bring to the job.

Selphy
February 5th, 2013, 14:39
I'm not trying to pick a fight and believe me, I appreciate everything you're doing to help me. But I can't for the sake of me see at this point how I'm talking too much about what I'm getting from this.


I want to work with Interac as an ALT because my goal is to become a language teacher in Japan and help kids experience the joys of learning a new language. My interest in the Japanese language and culture began in junior high. This led me to enrolling in Japanese classes and spending more time talking to Japanese international students. I was surprised at how little actual English skills they had. I spent a lot of time working with them and feel if they had more opportunities to spend time with an ALT or native speaker of English in school, they would be better prepared to tackle the difficulties of English and international education. I would love to help younger students gain more confidence and skill in English and teach them the joys and benefits of language learning as a foundation to build upon. I have had the experience of working with English-learning children at a prep school as well as tutoring international students during my undergraduate career. By teaching a variety of students and kids, I learned how to adapt and modify my teaching style to fit each individual. During most of my part time jobs, I also found myself tasked with training new employees because of my patience. By utilizing these skills while working with Interac, I feel like I can ensure a positive learning experience for the students. By teaching in a school, I can be a bigger part of the students' lives, assist Japanese teachers, as well as learn a lot about the Japanese culture that I could never learn about in classes. I feel very strongly about Interac's philosophy about enriching lives and promoting a deeper understanding of language and culture around the world and would love to chance to do this for students of Japan.

For the sake of not highlighting a ton of stuff I just did chunks.

Green is what I consider "fluff"
Red is what I consider what I'm hoping to give
Blue is what I'm taking from this

My justifications: I'm saying I want to do what they want me to do (Granted, it is a pretty useless statement since I wouldn't be applying if I had no intentions of doing it but I feel like it needs to be said). Helping students get better at Japanese. I'm saying that I'm adaptable and can modify based on the needs of students. I'm saying I'm patient (I am doing a very quick statement but I feel like this isn't supposed to be a "paste you resume here" but a gloss over and tell us why you chose us. But you do know more than I do so maybe I'm wrong and they just want me resume). By utilizing these skills I can help Interac ensure a positive environment (A quick statement of what I'm giving them. I know I should expand on this). Lastly just a statement saying that I actually took the time to look at their website a bit and wasn't a fool who just thought "cool Japan, apply apply!" and that I align myself with them.

What I'm taking from this: Hoping to teach in a school and experience things I didn't in my school.

Like I said, I'm not trying to pick a fight, but trying to see things from your viewpoint which I am not seeing.

Ini
February 5th, 2013, 14:47
I wouldn't sweat it too much, and I definitely wouldn't panic because someone who has never applied to interac before is criticizing you. Getting an interview with interac isn't the hardest thing in the world to do so as long as your application isn't full of errors and you don't come across as a total weirdo you should be ok. Focus on your interview technique and demo lessons, that's what will get you the job.

Selphy
February 5th, 2013, 14:56
This is probably not the place to ask but for the interview and demo lesson, are you given the questions and lesson you need to demo beforehand? Like in an email and you prepare then bring it to the interview? Or do you do it improv-style and make it up in 10 minutes on the spot?

tav1990
February 5th, 2013, 15:23
I have redone my #2 answer and am ready for opinions! haha


I expect an ALT working for Interac to help and support students in their education whether they are in elementary, junior high or high school. This can be accomplished by providing enjoyable lessons that incorporate listening, reading, and speaking activities. It is the ALT's responsibility to assist Japanese teachers by helping the students understand how what they are being taught relates to everyday situations. In order to help motivate and encourage students, an ALT is expected to have a positive and friendly attitude. Since an ALT working for Interact could be working in multiple schools and with different age groups, they are expected to be able to adapt to many different situations. The ALT is also expected to realize that they are an ambassador for Interac, so they have the responsibility of representing Interac through hard work, professionalism, and integrity. By making the long term commitment and calling a new place home, Interac ALTs can expect to have a challenging and rewarding opportunity laid out before them.

Thanks again, I appreciate you guys being here to help :)

zombiekelly
February 5th, 2013, 15:40
This is probably not the place to ask but for the interview and demo lesson, are you given the questions and lesson you need to demo beforehand?

Yes to the demo, no to the interview questions (but you can easily find those online).

Gizmotech
February 5th, 2013, 15:43
I'm not trying to pick a fight and believe me, I appreciate everything you're doing to help me. But I can't for the sake of me see at this point how I'm talking too much about what I'm getting from this.

My justifications: I'm saying I want to do what they want me to do (Granted, it is a pretty useless statement since I wouldn't be applying if I had no intentions of doing it but I feel like it needs to be said). Helping students get better at Japanese. I'm saying that I'm adaptable and can modify based on the needs of students. I'm saying I'm patient (I am doing a very quick statement but I feel like this isn't supposed to be a "paste you resume here" but a gloss over and tell us why you chose us. But you do know more than I do so maybe I'm wrong and they just want me resume). By utilizing these skills I can help Interac ensure a positive environment (A quick statement of what I'm giving them. I know I should expand on this). Lastly just a statement saying that I actually took the time to look at their website a bit and wasn't a fool who just thought "cool Japan, apply apply!" and that I align myself with them.

What I'm taking from this: Hoping to teach in a school and experience things I didn't in my school.

Like I said, I'm not trying to pick a fight, but trying to see things from your viewpoint which I am not seeing.

Haha, your justifications post is a better why you want to work there than your actual written post. It's very clear in selling your assets as opposed to talking around things. The goal is not to paste your resume but sell yourself. How are you flexible and adaptable, how are you patient and understanding, how will this be of benefit to them?

I still don't understand you fascination with the care and share of "What I am taking from this". That's what an interview is for, not the application.


I wouldn't sweat it too much, and I definitely wouldn't panic because someone who has never applied to interac before is criticizing you. Getting an interview with interac isn't the hardest thing in the world to do so as long as your application isn't full of errors and you don't come across as a total weirdo you should be ok. Focus on your interview technique and demo lessons, that's what will get you the job.

God I hope no-one is panicking over this. Ini is right, I've never applied to Interac before. Just as Ini and Zombie said, Interac's standard is low, mine is not. My only credentials for this coming from interviewing people at my previous two employers and looking at literally hundreds of resumes and cover letters. When I interview someone, I want to know about the person how they act and how they think what their goals and dreams are. When I am reading the paper I want to know why they are better than the other 50 useless pieces of paper on my desk, especially when everyone has the same qualifications (IE sweet fck all).


I have redone my #2 answer and am ready for opinions! haha
Thanks again, I appreciate you guys being here to help :)

I think you've managed to get it up to a level that's pretty decent. I'm not keen on the ambassador term, but I understand they use it just like JET does so nothing wrong there. If you can think of a less loaded word than expect I would recommend it. I understand/have heard/assume[even that's a bit loaded]... Expect just seems a little strong. It usually goes along with sentences like "I expect a raise", but maybe that's just my perspective of living/working back home in entitlement town.

@Selphy: I remember AVN on JET mains saying you had a chance to prepare the demo lesson before the interview and then had to do it with your other interviewees being "the class". (Also @Zombie as you've done it recently)

zombiekelly
February 5th, 2013, 16:00
They email you about 2 weeks before but it's basically "show off your crummy jgo, sing a song and then teach directions/shopping/verbs in six minutes".

Heck one guy there didn't even read the emails and managed to whip something together (I don't recommend that).

tav1990
February 6th, 2013, 05:08
I know this isn't the place to ask, but I had a question dealing with the work preferences section. I really want to get placed in Kyushu, but ultimately I would be fine with anywhere. I was wondering if I were to selected southern Japan as high preference, but then the rest of Japan as medium preference, would I be more likely to get eliminated for doing so?

thanks again!

TAmember2003
February 6th, 2013, 05:12
personally I just left that area blank, because they ask you during the interview process where your preference is. Also make it clear that you will be happy anywhere, but you would also love to be place in blah, lol.
At least thats how I handled it.

zombiekelly
February 6th, 2013, 05:34
I put down 3 prefectures instead of cities, but I made it clear to the recruiter that anywhere besides Hokkaido was fine (I don't get along with really cold weather).

TAmember2003
February 6th, 2013, 05:36
^ You know I think I put down areas as well... but I said I was interested in all of them highly, lol.

tester
February 6th, 2013, 08:50
Relatively new lurker here (found it from the JET forums), I was wondering if anyone is kind enough to look into my essay as well? A lot of the info here is very useful and really made me think long and hard about why my applications never seem to be successful...but I'm having serious trouble trying to wrap up the essays.

Why:

The reason why I would like to work in Interac is to begin my career in student education, and improve the confidence of the students in their use of English. I had always been interested in aspects of Japanese culture such as origami, and my trip to the country during December 2010 had strengthened my desire to work and live in Japan. This would also be a great opportunity for me to share my experience of learning English as a second language, whilst improving my Japanese to become fully trilingual.


My main reasons for wanting to teach English stems from my own experience of learning the language. To have emigrated to Canada in the past from Hong Kong, the only aspect of the language I was familiar with at the time was the alphabet. Were it not for the presence of an ESOL (English as another language) teacher, and having to use English practically everywhere in my new home, my grasp of the language would certainly be weaker. From then on, I aspired to focus towards a career that would be language-centred. I understand the difficulty from those in Japan who have difficulty improving their English, as they may rarely be in a position where they must use the language, similar to my Japanese. But, using my past experiences, I am certain that I would be able to effectively pinpoint, and advise upon the aspects of English that students may find difficult.


What:

I would expect that being an Interac ALT means to integrate myself while also making a positive contribution to the community that I am assigned to. I would be expected to be independent and flexible with my role, and also work effectively with other staff members as part of a team. To the students, I aim to be an ALT who convinces them that English is more than exams, it is fun and can open a world of possibilities. I must uphold a professional attitude and appearance in order to provide a positive image to the students, of the school and most importantly, of the company. Having an upbeat and friendly attitude is also crucial, as it may reflect well on the class and motivate students. As Interac is contracted to many schools throughout Japan, I would expect to teach in a number of them, meaning I would have to come up with novel methods of teaching that would be appropriate to that type of school. I would expect my role as an ALT is to challenge the students in their English writing, speaking and listening through the use of nationally approved textbooks.

Gizmotech
February 6th, 2013, 09:10
You have a decent set of motivations for your why which would be of interest to an employer. As it stands, that would probably be enough of a "why" answer. That being said, you don't really mention any specifics of how being an ESL learner in an immersion environment will help your students learn in an non-immersion environment. Relating is okay, but think about what your experiences actually taught you in how to relate terms/ideas/concepts for a L2 learner. You have A LOT of potential to draw on to sell yourself from, think about it a bit more. Also, "Were it not for" is a perfect example of overly complex language for this level of app. Change it into a positive statement w/ a because instead... makes it easier to negotiate for L2 readers.

I have no problems with your what at all. Well done. "Maybe" a bit heavy handed on the expect statements, but otherwise seriously, well done.

tester
February 13th, 2013, 02:50
Thanks for all the help! Managed to get a phone interview, so now gotta prepare for that...if only I'm completely sure what questions they will ask.

Jackee
March 5th, 2013, 07:42
Why are you applying for this position?

The reason why I want to work for Interac is to start a career in youth education in Japan. I am interested in teaching in Japan after discovering Japanese through university. My interest in the language increased and this has led me to self-study Japanese as much as possible for the past four years. I wanted to test my language skills so I travelled to Japan several times before. Also I am interested in Japanese culture and took part in many activities such as tea ceremony and went to some festivals. The experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan.

I developed an interest in teaching English after I began doing language exchanges with my Japanese friends. Although I have no teaching experience, I did take a course in teaching English as a foreign language and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The course involved me gaining a solid understanding of the principles of teaching English as a second language. Also I gained a wealth of practical ideas on how to make a lesson fruitful and exciting for students. Another reason for teaching English stems from my own experience of learning Japanese. I was unable to attend Japanese classes in England and could not use Japanese on a regular basis. So I understand the difficulty from those who are finding it difficult to use English in Japan.


What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

I expect as an ALT for Interac is to work effectively as part of a team and provide support to teachers to help students learn. Patience, positivity, long-term commitment and hard work are vital to the ALT position with Interac. But having a friendly and upbeat attitude is also important as it may be reflected well within the class environment and motivate students.

An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and must be acted with professionalism. The position itself is rewarding as it provides the opportunity to develop my own teaching ability. Also there will be excellent challenges like adapting to different school environment as Interac is contracted to many schools throughout Japan and are expected to come up with methods which are appropriate for that type of school.

zombiekelly
March 5th, 2013, 07:56
Way too much "me me me" in the first one. They're looking for what you will bring to them, not what you want to get out of it.

Gizmotech
March 5th, 2013, 08:37
Zombie already said it, as I think she's pretty familiar with my usual fanfare.

Your first paragraph is for you to tell them why they should hire you. Not why you want to be there. The whole first paragraph reads like a weeabo in disguise, someone interested in becoming Japanese, not in becoming a teacher/educator in a foreign country. The second paragraph gets more on topic, but doesn't really explain why you want to be an English teacher, just that you enjoyed a course in university. I enjoyed religion in university, doesn't mean I want to become a priest. Your final sentence of paragraph 1 shows a remarkable lack of insight into the problem as you equate not taking classes to not communicating, which is not the case in Japan. Think about that situation and consider your peers who took a foreign language in high-school/college.

Your answer shows a distinct lack of understanding basic English. You cannot start sentences in writing with "but", unless it's part of a subordinate clause. That's one of the biggest problems they actually have to fix here in Japan, and shows you are not ready to teach English. Your mention of using the classroom to improve your teaching skills in this answer is also incorrect. The position is to teach, your reason for applying is to build your teaching skills. Lastly, your final sentence shows many grammatical mistakes regarding plurality (which I really don't feel like pointing out because they are that obvious).

A Japanese reviewer might not notice half of this, but if an English native speaker reviewed this submission they would toss it out right away. It shows an amazingly lack of English skills required for a grammar intensive learning environment.

coop52
March 5th, 2013, 08:53
Jesus Christ. Commas are your friends. Learn to use them.

Laevatienn
March 12th, 2013, 04:05
Jesus Christ. Commas are your friends. Learn to use them.

Except most people think commas are there for a pause effect. Yes, they do have that sort of effect, but most people just create comma splices. Know your comma rules. It helps. For those of you with the god-awful bible to the English language, aka the Chicago Manual of Style, you know all too well what I speak of...I hate grammar sometimes...

Jackee
March 13th, 2013, 03:59
Why are you applying for this position?

The reason why I want to work for Interac is to start a career in youth education in Japan and to build the students confidence in using English. When I was in college, I met many Japanese people whom I became good friends with and I wanted to help them with their English. Through them, I became interested in Japan and it really motivated me to study Japanese. I found that learning Japanese was a very rewarding experience. I learnt how to speak, read and write in a new language but also I learnt a lot about the culture. For the past few years, I have been to Japan and the experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan, as well as improve my Japanese skills.

This experience of learning a new language led me to wanting to become an ALT. I would love to share my experiences of learning a new language with kids and teach them the benefits of it, and hopefully they will be motivated the same way as I was towards Japanese. I believe working for Interac, it would allow me to teach in a school setting then a conversation school. By teaching in school, I can become part of the students’ lives, assist Japanese teachers, and share my own experiences in school.

What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

I expect as an ALT for Interac is to work effectively as part of a team and provide support to teachers to help students learn. Patience, positivity, long-term commitment and hard work are vital to the ALT position with Interac. Also having a friendly and upbeat attitude is important as it may be reflected well within the class environment and motivates students.

An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and the job requires professionalism. The position itself is rewarding as it provides the opportunity to develop my own teaching ability. Also there will be excellent challenges like adapting to different school environment as Interac is contracted to many schools throughout Japan, and are expected to come up with methods which are appropriate for that type of school. They are expected to be dedicated to their work and be prepared to make the long term commitment that is required of an ALT.

coop52
March 13th, 2013, 10:35
I believe working for Interac, it would allow me to teach in a school setting then a conversation school.


I don't think you need this sentence. It sounds kind of weird to me.

I think you ought to go more into what skills you can bring into the job, and pull back a bit on the "I love Japan" stuff. Almost everyone who applies for the job can say the same kind of stuff. Give specific examples to make yourself stand out.

Gizmotech
March 13th, 2013, 11:20
Guess I should get to work (gives me something to do today)

Why are you applying for this position?

The reason why I want to work for Interac is to start a career in youth education in Japan and to build the students confidence in using English. When I was in college, I met many Japanese people whom I became good friends with and I wanted to help them with their English. Through them, I became interested in Japan and it really motivated me to study Japanese. I found that learning Japanese was a very rewarding experience. I learnt how to speak, read and write in a new language but also I learnt a lot about the culture. For the past few years, I have been to Japan and the experiences there were wonderful and I would relish the opportunity to live and work in Japan, as well as improve my Japanese skills.

This experience of learning a new language led me to wanting to become an ALT. I would love to share my experiences of learning a new language with kids and teach them the benefits of it, and hopefully they will be motivated the same way as I was towards Japanese. I believe working for Interac, it would allow me to teach in a school setting then a conversation school. By teaching in school, I can become part of the students’ lives, assist Japanese teachers, and share my own experiences in school.

The Color coding:
Unimportant
Self interested
Actually relevant (IE says why you should be hired)

I gotta be honest, the majority of what you're written doesn't explain at all why you would be a good ALT, why you would be a good English teacher, why you would be better than any other Japanese language students, why you would be a good cultural mediator... really it doesn't tell me much at all about why you're worth hiring. Nothing about it stands out as "hey, I'm better than every other weeabo who wants to come to Japan", it's all just "hey, japan is cool, I done learned the language, I think I can help others learn English". So okay, you want to help, HOW? (Hint: There's more to teaching that motivation)




What do you expect an ALT position with Interac entails?

I expect as an ALT for Interac is to work effectively as part of a team and provide support to teachers to help students learn. Patience, positivity, long-term commitment and hard work are vital to the ALT position with Interac. Also having a friendly and upbeat attitude is important as it may be reflected well within the class environment and motivates students. (you'd be surprised at this one actually...)

An ALT is also an ambassador for Interac so representing them will carry huge responsibility and the job requires professionalism. The position itself is rewarding as it provides the opportunity to develop my own teaching ability. Also there will be excellent challenges like adapting to different school environment as Interac is contracted to many schools throughout Japan, and are expected to come up with methods which are appropriate for that type of school. They are expected to be dedicated to their work and be prepared to make the long term commitment that is required of an ALT.

Borrowing my color coding again:
The Color coding:
Unimportant
Self interested
Actually relevant (IE: What is an/involved in an ALT job)

This paragraph comes out much better than the first. The green line actually belongs in the paragraph above, as indication that you are trying to become a teaching professional. It does not be long in the actual job. You are to be a teacher, not to learn to teach on the job right? This isn't teacher training, though you certainly do learn a lot you are expected to perform (especially w/ interac, right away).

Never ever give the hint that you'll be a slave. Long term commitment? HA. Yes there are many individuals who enjoy being an ALT, and have been for many years, but committing to that process from the beginning, without ever having done the job? sounds like you're a pretty big sucker.

hunterofpeace
March 13th, 2013, 13:11
Once you satisfy Gizzy in the content area, post it again because you need to tweak your grammar

Blake Islington
March 13th, 2013, 18:20
I want to put in my two cents here. The bulk of my essay consisted of my current job as a software trainer and what it involves. I also touched on lecturing 1st year University students in my final year of University. I also included my volunteer work for the national trust.

If your not employed at the moment focus on what you did at University. Did you perform in a drama club, create a presentation to show research and then present it to the student body?

If you are currently employed look for any transferable skills: reliability, taking on extra work as required, dealing with customers/ ensuring they listen to you if they are having a grumpy 5 minutes.

Sakurahoshi
March 14th, 2013, 22:19
Lol I'm glad I never posted my essay questions up here before submitting...

Chibi-ren
April 5th, 2013, 20:54
Here's my why. I'm still working on my what. Any comments and thoughts on this would really help. I'm becoming a nervous wreck, working on this :|

I am applying for an ALT position in Japan because i have strong interest for both Japanese culture as well as teaching. I've always been interested and fascinated by the aspects of Japanese culture, especially Sado ceremony and Kabuki. My interest in Japanese language and culture led me to enroll in an online language exchange community. There, I met many people who were eager to communicate and learn English, despite the language barrier. And in exchange they taught me basic Japanese. I decided to take a step further and experience teaching first hand. Taking up a TEFL course gave me an insight on traditional teaching methods and valuable skills. With this knowledge, and the traditional classroom setting at interac, I would be able help learners expand their communication abilities. I know I can relate to many issues the students may be going through, not only because I am of an Asian descent but also because I know quite well the ups and downs of acquiring a new language. This enables me to be more understanding towards the students. Creativity is a powerful tool in the classroom to stimulate interest and motivation. Therefore, I hope to utilize my skills in Art and Music to teach English in a lively way and thus encourage students to use the language creatively in their daily lives. If accepted for the ALT position, I would strive to create a positive, upbeat environment that excites students about learning English.

Gizmotech
April 5th, 2013, 22:04
Well it's not horrible... doesn't scream hire me I'm different from every other weeabo.. but it's not horrible, except for the complete lack of a solid command of English.

Go through it, fix your grammatical mistakes, take a look at your conjunctions, think a bit about a few of those topicalized elements, and then give it a repost when you're sure it's ready to rocknroll.

itsmalicali
August 20th, 2013, 08:14
I haven't completely hashed out my essay yet, but the main idea is that I want to apply for the position with Interac because I want to use my passion, education and experience to help students not only learn and be confident in their English, but also learn about my home country and culture while I learn about theirs. I go on to say why I have an interest in working with young adults ranging from my personal experience with a relative with special needs as well as being a live-in nanny where the children's first language was not English.


My friend who recently left to Japan for JET said that he thought that the idea sounded good so far because it shows that I'm interested in building bonds with the students along with teaching them. It also shows that I've worked with a range of children.


However, a couple of my other friends wondered if mentioning the bit about learning each other's cultures would throw Interac off as the job is to teach English - not "make friends" as they said. They also wondered if mentioning the special needs and the two children whose first language was Spanish and not English would be a hinderance since I would not be teaching special needs in Japan nor am I going to a Spanish speaking country. I was pretty set on including those bits though because those experiences furthered my desire to work with children and teach English.

Any thoughts?

PS: I also made a point to say why I wanted to teach in Japan specifically, but I am mainly concerned about what my two friends brought up.

Also just went back to fix some of this post. Haven't slept in 24+ hours. Forgive my ramblings.

Ini
August 20th, 2013, 08:19
ignore your two friends. the job is certainly not just to teach english, most schools have at least one special needs student and any experience of working with children who aren't native english speakers is a plus.

Gizmotech
August 20th, 2013, 10:46
Ini is spot on, as usual.

Your friends are being silly. Exploring your own culture and their culture at the same time is pretty awesome. Experience working with special needs children is also a bonus. Working with students whose first language isn't English is a bonus.

I mean... hell, not including myself, I have two special needs students in my classroom. One of whom seems to have a decent level of aspergers (possibly moving straight into actual autism), the other having a variety of social anxiety disorders. Though you probably won't end up at something like this, I also teach at the local school for the mentally handicapped (full Autism/Downs) and hearing challenged.

Remember, it's not just your "teaching English" to these kids, but your social skills in interacting with them that you can bring to the front. That's probably more important than any level of English you are bringing to the discussion.

mothy
August 20th, 2013, 13:42
I think 90% of all the students I've ever taught were special needs.

itsmalicali
August 21st, 2013, 01:32
Thank you all so much! I think I will stick to asking for opinions and advice from others who are looking to teach or already teaching. I appreciate my friends trying to play devil's advocate to get me to think about what I'm writing differently, but I feel that what I'm writing so far is going in the right direction. Thank you again! :)


I mean... hell, not including myself, I have two special needs students in my classroom. One of whom seems to have a decent level of aspergers (possibly moving straight into actual autism), the other having a variety of social anxiety disorders. Though you probably won't end up at something like this, I also teach at the local school for the mentally handicapped (full Autism/Downs) and hearing challenged.

Remember, it's not just your "teaching English" to these kids, but your social skills in interacting with them that you can bring to the front. That's probably more important than any level of English you are bringing to the discussion.

Though I don't think I will end up at a similar school either, I wouldn't mind if I did! Again, thank you. This website has been very helpful!

wicket
October 17th, 2013, 13:50
Woah Gizmo. Pretty sure the parents of the kids I teach wouldn't be too thrilled at having Autism considered as a 'mental handicap', since most autistic people are of average or above average intelligence. Also, autism and Aspergers are quite different - you can't 'slide' from one into the other.
I'm adding to the argument of ignoring well-meaning friends and writing what is right for you.

wicket
October 17th, 2013, 13:52
Bugger. I did it. What I always hated people for. I revived a months-dead thread.:rolleyes:

Gizmotech
October 17th, 2013, 14:11
Woah Gizmo. Pretty sure the parents of the kids I teach wouldn't be too thrilled at having Autism considered as a 'mental handicap', since most autistic people are of average or above average intelligence. Also, autism and Aspergers are quite different - you can't 'slide' from one into the other.
I'm adding to the argument of ignoring well-meaning friends and writing what is right for you.

GRATS ON THREAD NECROMANCY!

Aspergers is high functioning autism. It's a delineation on the autism scale. I'm quite aware of the degree to which intelligence applies, but it is still a mental handicap if they cannot use that intelligence to effectively accomplish the same tasks as the rest of the class. (IE, some kids can use it to their advantage to perform tasks at an increased rate of speed or complexity, the others have a handicap)

And boo hoo to the parents. They'll cry if you give a kid a silver star instead of a gold star. They'll cry if you give him a 4 instead of a 5. Everyone of their kids is another damned special snow flake.

Probably one of the reasons I like Japan so much. The parents might think their kids are special... just in the other direction.

uthinkimlost?
October 17th, 2013, 14:12
. Also, autism and Aspergers are quite different - you can't 'slide' from one into the other.

:012:

thelastday
February 2nd, 2014, 08:01
Decided to finally stop lurking and join in.

I was about to submit my online application with Interac, but am a bit confused by some of what I've read online.

When I login to the Interac website to submit applications, it asks for the basic information (schools, work experience, etc) and a cover letter/personal statement under 2500 characters. I've had to do cover letters and personal statements before so I wrote why I'm interested in the position and why I'm suitable for it.

But everyone I see posting about Interac says they ask for 2 personal essays along the lines of why you want the position and what you expect from it. Are these two essays later on in the application process?

Or should this be covered in the cover letter/personal statement?

Laevatienn
February 2nd, 2014, 08:23
Decided to finally stop lurking and join in.

I was about to submit my online application with Interac, but am a bit confused by some of what I've read online.

When I login to the Interac website to submit applications, it asks for the basic information (schools, work experience, etc) and a cover letter/personal statement under 2500 characters. I've had to do cover letters and personal statements before so I wrote why I'm interested in the position and why I'm suitable for it.

But everyone I see posting about Interac says they ask for 2 personal essays along the lines of why you want the position and what you expect from it. Are these two essays later on in the application process?

Or should this be covered in the cover letter/personal statement?

Wow, I haven't been pinged on this forum for a while. My email says someone posted so here I am. They changed their website...sometime last year-ish I think. Been a while. During that time it seems they went from a flash site to an HTML site. I assume they updated their application as well. As for asking for essays later on in the process, probably not. It wouldn't make sense to ask for beginning of process stuff later on in the application process. Maybe they added more interview questions or something similar to get the same information. Maybe they just got rid of the essay information in general. We'll never know.

The new site is...different to say the least. Some information is more fleshed out and other bits became a little more vague... The Youtube videos hurt my eyes...why did you post? You made me watch those videos that switch camera angles every five seconds... Why change the angle every five seconds...it doesn't make sense...

tobenaitori
February 7th, 2014, 05:21
Honestly, I don't think it's important. I planned to go back and write the essay after filling out the rest of the application, but I forgot and submit it without any essay. I got hired.

halobeast
May 3rd, 2014, 06:38
**PLEASE DON'T BAN ME FOR REVIVING AN ALMOST 3 MONTH OLD THREAD!!! :'( I just figured it was best to post in here since this thread was already full of great information, and didn't feel my post required a new topic**

So, I am currently applying for Interac's Spring 2015 Session. I wanted to get the application out of the way as early as possible, just in case I run into issues between then and now. I was wondering if someone could have a look at my essay. For background, I don't have any teaching experience, haven't taken courses in learning Japanese or Japanese history. I've been wanting to teach in Japan for a while, but only got the courage to actually go for it recently, and have been doing extensive research on the sort of things to expect.....
blah blah, anyways, my essay can be found here:



Also, it seems that sometime between last year and this year, they changed the application format to include a Cover Letter instead of the two questions (why/what). My essay clocks in at 2400ish characters, but I figure it's alright to have somewhere within the range of 2000-2500 characters.

Feel free to tear me a new one. I welcome criticism (I am aware of the missing period at the end of the first paragraph, but I can't re-upload it from where I am :p). Thanks in advance!