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View Full Version : Married in JET 2014



prufrock
December 5th, 2013, 08:56
My husband and I have both applied. I just have a few questions!
1) Does anyone here have experience with JET and married couples? Is it considered a positive or negative?
2) Are any other forum posters married? What's your experience been like/ are you nervous about applying?

word
December 5th, 2013, 09:32
1. Yeah, lots of people. It is both positive and negative; it depends completely on the BoE in question. As far as the JET application process is concerned, it doesn't really have any bearing. You and your husband might both be accepted, or you might both be declined, or one of you might be accepted and the other might not, or one of you might be accepted and the other alternated, or any potential combination of the above options. They will try to place you close together, but there are no guarantees. You might end up in the same city and be able to share an apartment. You might be placed in northern Hokkaido while your husband is placed in Okinawa (probably unlikely, but possible). You should prepare yourself for this sort of thing.

2. Yeah, MG and I got married here; we were engaged before we came to Japan. She didn't come through the JET program, though; she came later and got a direct-hire job.

Being married here is good and bad. It's awesome 'cause you've always got someone in your corner, someone to talk to, have adventures with, relax with, f*ck, de-stress with, etc. It's bad because you have less of an incentive to get out, practice your Japanese, make new friends, attend stupid social events, etc. Every married couple I know says the same sh*t, "Oh, we're different; we really want to hang out with everyone and socialize; we're really driven and will practice our Japanese all the time; we don't spend all our time together, blah blah blah blah." It's a load of crap; every married couple (or just BF/GF couple, for that matter) is gonna do this. No shame in it; it's just the way we're wired.

It can be incredibly stressful on a relationship, especially if there's a long-distance factor in play.

Gizmotech
December 5th, 2013, 18:57
Quick question, legally married or common law?

jmejia019
December 6th, 2013, 09:03
I'm married and put my application in this year. At first I was a little nervous because, as everyone knows, there is a stereotype that JET is looking for young, single, fresh-out-of-college candidates. I mean its certainly supported by the proportion of successful applicants that do fit this description. But then again thats also a reflection of the applicant pool itself.

Rationalizing it this way, and also hearing experiences of married successful applicants, my worries were put to rest. I do however expect that if I get an interview that topic will come up. I dont have any proof but I think they would definitely ask about my wife's willingness/excitement level about possibly living in Japan so I'm preparing for that.

prufrock
December 6th, 2013, 09:40
Word, thank you so much for responding! That makes me breathe a little easier.

Gizmotech, legally married.about six months now.

Jmejia019, I do fit the fresh out of college profile, having just graduated in May. My husband, however, graduated several years ago and has done the career thing the lats few years. He was definitely a bit concerned, but we've read about people in their late twenties/thirties making it, so that's made him breathe a bit easier.

Gizmotech
December 6th, 2013, 10:15
Word, thank you so much for responding! That makes me breathe a little easier.

Gizmotech, legally married.about six months now.

Jmejia019, I do fit the fresh out of college profile, having just graduated in May. My husband, however, graduated several years ago and has done the career thing the lats few years. He was definitely a bit concerned, but we've read about people in their late twenties/thirties making it, so that's made him breathe a bit easier.

Cool, legal marriage is important for the process.

I suspect the only issue might be with any attachments you have to home is all. So long as both of you are applying that concern will be moot. Otherwise you're probably in a pretty good place.

word
December 6th, 2013, 11:51
Should one or both of you guys get an interview, be prepared for pointed, blunt questions. "What will you do if your husband is not accepted? What will you do if you are placed on opposite ends of Japan? How will you react when a boy asks you if you like playing sex with your husband?" Etc.

mothy
December 7th, 2013, 00:01
I was married when accepted and it wasn't a problem. There weren't even any questions about her in the interview, that I can remember. But she was "one of them" so it might be different if you've stayed racially pure.

ihatefall
January 7th, 2014, 14:30
Don't worry about age, my friend is on JET now and he is 34 (was 32 when he left, but his Japanese is Oni Level). Also there was a guy in my prefecture who was in his late late 30's when he arrived, he stayed on for 5 years. They asked him about leaving his job and why he was willing to work for 1/3 his pay. Have your husband be prepared for that question. (He told them that he felt he had done all he could do on that job and that he could always go back to it if he wanted. He was ready for a new challenge and to experience something 'different'.)

I also know a married couple that came over while when I did. The first year they lived an hour apart, they would spend weekends together and try to have dinner together somewhere in the middle at least once a week. The husband was able to transfer after the first year, he put in the request because they knew a JET that lived near the wife was leaving that year.

Personally, I think, in general, most older applicants do well during the interview process and get into JET at a higher rate than younger applicants. The reason you don't see as many of them, is because there just aren't that many people in their 30's that are willing to uproot their lives to go work for a job that is temporary. (This is not a statement based on facts, just from my experiences.)

This is my second time living in Japan, first time as a JET and second time for a company. Its definitely different this time, as my friend put it, "You're there now as a grown up instead of to grow up". But that is either here nor there.

My advice is mingle with the singles. You'll see more of Japan, learn more Japanese and have a better over all experience. You have plenty of time for "just-the-two-of-us-couple-time" post JET.

ihatefall
January 9th, 2014, 11:26
Also I am sure someone has posted this before but:
http://ajet.net/downloads/workshops/2009/Life%20as%20a%20JET%20with%20a%20Partner%20or%20Family.pdf

When I got here there was a JET who brought her husband and child over (then had 2 more here).

Ini
January 9th, 2014, 11:32
yet again ajet manages to get everything wrong...... they put out so much misinformation I'm sure they are cylons.

coop52
January 9th, 2014, 11:50
I would take some of that info with a grain of salt since the foreigner registration guidelines and childcare benefits have changed since that was written. That being said, I've known plenty of couples who've come over (a few have even had kids here) and had no major issues with immigration or whatever. They usually get bigger accommodations, so there's that. I think the only issue that's come up is a non-JET partner getting bored during the day.

Ini
January 9th, 2014, 11:53
and the fact the info on hoikuens and youchiens is just plain wrong

Jiggit
January 9th, 2014, 11:57
On the other hand can you imagine a kid homeschooled by ALTs? They would be some kind of autism messiah.

Ini
January 9th, 2014, 11:57
leave MJN out of this