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Thread: enkai awkwardness?

  1. #1

    Default enkai awkwardness?

    i'm trying to decide if i should go to an upcoming enkai. i'm kinda hesitant because its kinda far from my house so i'll have to be driven, most of the teachers are over 40, the majority of teachers who are going will probably be male (i'm female), and i basically speak no japanese, meaning i can only have exhausting, surfaced conversations in english. i do enjoy drinking and socializing, but i'm worried that i am i setting myself up for a really awkward night. thoughts? thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Igor's Avatar
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    If you're having doubts I probably wouldn't go, under those conditions. If you're the kind of girl who really gets into slamming a few down with the old guys it might be your thing, but if you're already thinking 'eh' I wouldn't bother. They'll probably understand and are half-expecting you to decline, anyway.

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    Senior Member Igor's Avatar
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    Oh. Dur. I didn't really read the 'most' and 'majority' parts - if there ARE some other girls/young people, even one or two, it might be worth just giving it a whirl once. If you don't like it you can always decline later.

  4. #4

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    If it's your first I think you should go. It's be awkward but just grin and bear it. As bad as it might be I think it'll come across as a bit rude to burn the first one you're invited to. After this one, burn away!

  5. #5

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    Definitely go. If it sucks, it sucks. Nothing lost.

  6. #6
    Senior Member kamukamuume's Avatar
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    Yes, I agree with the others. Just give it a shot and use it as a good chance to get to know the other teachers more. Teachers often open up once they get some alcohol in their systems, so they might be much more interesting than you think.

    Or at least that's what the word on the street is. I haven't experienced much of that myself.

  7. #7

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    Go, teachers are entirely different people at enkais
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    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    Going anywhere in Japan is awkward. You won't do much if you're afraid of feeling awkward. But at least going to this you'll get to see another side of your co-workers, maybe have fun and make a few friends- and who knows you might find a few who actually do speak English and are just afraid to do so without alcohol to loosen them up. I know that that's happened at my enkais.
    My Japanese sucks and I'm not so close in age to my co-workers, but I go to all my enkais I can and I don't think I've ever regretted it.
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  9. #9

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    Agree with everything said. You'll find some teachers were the last people you thought spoke decent English will open up when the liquor flows and be cool people.

    Our school has an inordinate amount of drinking events and I've had a good time at almost all of them.

  10. #10
    I'm that good. southpaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    You should absolutely go. Most of the time you'll just be listening in and nodding politely. Some people might surprise you with their English. Prepare a few phrases just in case, like I like the students/school, thanks for the invitation, this food is delicious type stuff.

  11. #11
    Senior Member lazarus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by homeisme View Post
    i am i setting myself up for a really awkward night. thoughts? thanks!
    Welcome to your life in Japan for the next year. If it's your first enkai I'd go. I just act a little obnoxious, and it seems to work fine. Unless you sit there like some mute weirdo you should be ok.

    I went to my first enkai this year, and the bastards had the nerve to hand me a 6300yen bill for my "welcome" enkai. Basically I doubt I'll go to another one this year only because they are so damn expensive.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by lazarus View Post
    I went to my first enkai this year, and the bastards had the nerve to hand me a 6300yen bill for my "welcome" enkai.
    Surely it's pretty normal to pay for your food and drink on a night out? It is where I come from.

    My school doesn't appear to do enkais.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    I think it's a good idea to go to your first enkai. Our English department had one so I went to the first of those, too. But after that, it's only been awkward, so I don't go anymore. Nothing lost.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by lazarus View Post
    I went to my first enkai this year, and the bastards had the nerve to hand me a 6300yen bill for my "welcome" enkai. Basically I doubt I'll go to another one this year only because they are so damn expensive.
    This is normal, just cos its you're welcome party doesn't mean you don't pay.
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  15. #15

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    To the OP, the first party (the formal enkai with speeches etc) is sometimes awkward and horrible, but do not let that keep you from attending the second party. That's where the real fun happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by mothy View Post
    I will not miss the Keihin Tohoku when I jump in front of it.

  16. #16
    Senior Member lazarus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BritishChris View Post
    This is normal, just cos its you're welcome party doesn't mean you don't pay.
    Oh, well I asked them how much, and they said "NO!!!" "it's your welcome party!" So the next Monday when I had a small envelope on my desk marked 6300yen for enkai, I laughed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meelynn View Post
    To the OP, the first party (the formal enkai with speeches etc) is sometimes awkward and horrible, but do not let that keep you from attending the second party. That's where the real fun happens.
    I love the first speech. I tossed in a bunch of ben and gave them all a good laugh. If you do something like that it will make things better at the enkai. You can get away with saying stupid stuff cause you aren't Japanese. I would say take advantage of that situation.
    Last edited by lazarus; September 16th, 2009 at 09:23.

  17. #17
    Senior Member wry bread's Avatar
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    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    At my enkai the dude teachers effin loved it when I got up and went around the room pouring them more beer. This resulted in hilarious broken communication, and also me getting hit on. So if you're cool with that, go and be super friendly and goofy and shit... you are allowed to be much more so than at school.

  18. #18

    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    Yeah! pouring drinks! Especially at the first enkai! It will make them super excited like "OhhHHHH! You know a Japanese thing!!!!" and they will love you for it. As Wry said, drink pouring is a standard conversation openner and they're gonna think you're super cool.

    I say for sure go to the first one or two enkais. Then decide if you love or hate em. Make a good first impression and save your turn-downs for when they're already used to you in 6 months.
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  19. #19

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    Enkais are awesome, go!

  20. #20
    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Default Re: enkai awkwardness?

    I've never been to an enkai I didn't enjoy.

    If it's awkward drink until its not awkward anymore. They will.
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