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Thread: Domestic Violence in Japan

  1. #1

    Default Domestic Violence in Japan

    I have a little story.

    Yesterday, while walking from the train station to my friend's birthday picnic, I saw two people arguing loudly in a phone booth. A woman and a man. It seemed odd, but I kept going because I couldn't really make out who was yelling at whom and of course it's none of my business.

    A few minutes and half a block later, I hear the woman begin screaming and yelling for help. There was a fat salary man near me who turned around and leaned over to try and see what was going on. He looked like he was trying to make up his mind about whether or not to help. I said to him, "Shall we go together to see what's wrong?" and he shook his head and started backing away. So I gave him my meanest look, told him it was "DAME" (if I knew the word for coward I would have used that), then ran back down the road.

    Now the screaming was coming from inside a building, where the woman had gone for help. I ran in--it was nothing more than a narrow waiting area for some sort of post office--and saw the woman, a petite old lady in her sixties, crying and cowering in a corner. A younger guy in his forties was being held back by a little old man in a business suit (and no one else!!), but he was swinging and kicking at the woman. He kept screaming that he was going to KILL HER.

    Without thinking, I jumped on the guy who was swinging (and still landing some kicks, right in her stomach) and held him down. I'm afraid I yelled some pretty awful things at him in Japanese. The old man and I restrained him about ten minutes before some carpenter/janitor type guys came to see the fuss. They would have WALKED PAST, except the old man knocked on the window and begged for their help.

    When the janitors jumped in and pinned the guy, I coaxed the old woman outside (she was standing there bawling, well within range of his kicks) and flagged down some guy to call the cops and ambulance. It took the professionals well over twenty minutes to get there, leaving some poor tired samaritans to restrain this madman.

    When the cops finally came, they tried to escort the guy to the cop car, but he refused to go and yelled some incredibly colorful language at the police, who finally gave up and injected him with some sort of tranquilizer.

    At this point, I was totally late for my friend's picnic, and I asked the cops if I could go. They thanked me and let me go on my way with no questioning (thank goodness, cause I didn't know what the heck was going on).

    Later on, one of my friends told me that I was lucky. He had heard of foreigners who had done the exact same thing as me and who had been arrested, fired from their jobs, and sent back to their countries. I am terrified of that, but at the same time I think that if the same thing happened tomorrow, I wouldn't change my response. Except maybe to not call the guy an idiot while I was holding him down.

    It makes me really, really angry to think that SO MANY people walked right past that old lady who was getting the crap kicked out of her. That fat salary man wasn't the only one, and I hope that to his dying day he thinks about how he walked away and let a 5'2" white girl and an elderly man hold back a crazy man who was hellbent on murdering an old woman who was too afraid to move.

    What would you guys do? Has this ever happened to you? Do you know of domestic violence in your town/city/building?

    I have heard that this country is pretty behind on things like equality, bullying in schools, child-abuse, etc. etc.. So people are willing to look away when they hear a woman screaming, or a child crying, or a salaryman feeling up a high school girl on the train. Are there any educational programs for these types of things? Abuse shelters? Social workers? I can't imagine that there are animal shelters but no battered-women shelters.

    I want to help, and I know that Japanese people feel that what's going on is wrong. What can someone like me do to help? What do I say to my teachers when they ask me how my weekend went?

  2. #2
    Senior Member phenom's Avatar
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    Here's your solution.

    YouTube - Defendor - Official Trailer [HQ]


    In all honesty though, props to you. Guys that beat on defenseless women can suck my big gaijin cock. Fuck that shit.
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    C'mon you faggot who we're piling on! Quit being such a bitch ass cunt!

  3. #3
    Feckless Manchild Otaku word's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    Yeah, you probably did the right thing, but you were lucky, too. There were other people involved trying to stop the guy.

    If you'd come up on the situation and it woulda just been some dude whalin' on some dame, it woulda been a lot more risky to get involved. Yes, it might have still been the right thing to stop the guy, but you'd be putting yourself into a damned precarious situation. There's a good chance that the girl wouldn't back you up when the cops showed up. This isn't a Japan-only phenomenon; any cop in the 'States will tell you a "domestic disturbance" is the fucking worst call to get, because odds are the stupid bitch whose life you just saved is gonna blame you for the entire situation. Japan is like this, but more so. People just don't get involved in shit that isn't any of their business, and consider it rude for others to do so. There're boatloads of stories, even on this site, of ALTs trying to help out some "damsel in distress" who usually just ends up embarrassed that some foreigner poked his or her nose into their private life. I'm not saying it's not the right thing to do, I'm just saying that your friends are right--other situations like this have ended badly for the "hero."

    Having said all that; I'd have done the same damned thing. Probably worse. You can take me out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of me. Kudos.
    Quote Originally Posted by 00Bear00 View Post
    When I read your post I suddenly feel like I am so far away from being crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ananasboat View Post
    It's festivals days like these on which I really try really hard to make up for not partying in college.
    yeah, because who needs free flowing drugs and alcohol fueling adventorous sex with taut, lithe young bodies when you could wander around a dying town in the freezing cold with a can of asahi super dry in your hand while some toothless old farmer shouts at you.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Shirokuma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    Lucky you are a woman or you would have been arrested, if a guy did that.....

    It is a don't ask, don't tell policy here.

    Have you seen the number of kids killed or abused recently? Some of these kids where going to day care centers and the baby's families passed the home visit (I think it is like 1 or 2 months after birth that the nurse comes around to check out the home)

    DV (everything has a short form here right) is actually common. It really depends on individual culture to determine your level of comfort with it. Like my old boss (a guy) often got beat down by his wife (he so deserved it) so where you might expect is is always man to woman it is not. A lot of it is young to old as well.

  5. #5
    ITIL Spokesperson tenderRondo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    this one time I saw a lady getting beaten by her boyfriend. but it turned out that the boyfriend was actually a demon sent from the nether realm by lord kromulon. So of course there was nothing I could do at first to stop him, until the sword of justice slowly floated down from a beam of light in the sky. I picked up the sword which transformed me into "xXdestroyinatorXx" and I attempted to stop the man. But guess what, he saw me coming and used the chaos dagger to transform himself into "Deathbringer01" so most gaijin would just give up at this point, but not me. I didnt care about losing my job so I did what any warrior of light would do and called upon the heavens to transform me into "super-destroyinator01" Of course in my powered up form the enemy was no match for me so me and the lady went to the bubble gum village on the rainbow of happiness and had a good ole time.
    guys, im not playing anymore

  6. #6
    Feckless Manchild Otaku word's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shirokuma View Post
    Lucky you are a woman or you would have been arrested, if a guy did that.....
    Oh, I didn't realize you were a chick, madly. Shiro is right; that explains a lot. You'll be able to get away with a lot more shit like this than a guy would.
    Quote Originally Posted by 00Bear00 View Post
    When I read your post I suddenly feel like I am so far away from being crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ananasboat View Post
    It's festivals days like these on which I really try really hard to make up for not partying in college.
    yeah, because who needs free flowing drugs and alcohol fueling adventorous sex with taut, lithe young bodies when you could wander around a dying town in the freezing cold with a can of asahi super dry in your hand while some toothless old farmer shouts at you.

  7. #7
    ITIL Spokesperson tenderRondo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    i am also a woman
    guys, im not playing anymore

  8. #8
    ITIL Spokesperson tenderRondo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    RITERATION: Madly you are super lucky that the guy didnt have a chaos dagger (or even a chaos crystal) on him or you would have been fucked!
    guys, im not playing anymore

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shirokuma View Post
    Lucky you are a woman or you would have been arrested, if a guy did that.....
    If a guy had restrained him then the police would have done the same thing. The only foreigners who get in trouble are the ones who think its their big chance to show off their sweet naruto kung fu moves and land a few sloppy bitch slaps while defending the honor of the delicate asian lotus blossom.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by tenderRondo View Post
    RITERATION: Madly you are super lucky that the guy didnt have a chaos dagger (or even a chaos crystal) on him or you would have been fucked!
    Don't worry, I double-cast Bravery and Wall. Unfortunately, he had already been Berserked, so it was a bit of a hassle keeping him Paralyzed.

    The difference between public and private issue is this (for me): If I can see someone beating up on someone who can't defend themselves, in the broad sunshine in a public place, well, he just opened himself a can of whoopass. Then again, this guy only needed held down, because he was a weak coward who had to hit on a bawling old lady to make himself feel stronger.

    Then again, what if I had heard it upstairs inside my building? I don't care what they're fighting about. That's none of my business. But when I start to hear screaming and things getting knocked over, that's disturbing my peace. Deeply.

    Here's an informative article: Speaking out about domestic violence | The Japan Times Online

    and more recently:
    Domestic violence in Japan hits record high in 2009 womensphere

    Domestic violence in this country is on the increase, and the statistics (and cases themselves) are underreported. It's a "private issue" and it's embarrassing and dangerous for a woman to try and seek help.

    I say that's bollocks and bullshit and rubbish all in one bundle. I am still angry about this, and disgusted. Up until this point I have been relatively "culture shock" free, but I guess you could say that with this issue, I am completely in shock and I just can't understand the lack of awareness or willingness to help.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    you seem to be talking a lot about a situation you know nothing about. How do you know the sweet old lady hadn't just killed her grandson because he was born with a learning difficulty and she felt he was a disgrace to the family?

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shirokuma View Post
    It is a don't ask, don't tell policy here.

    Have you seen the number of kids killed or abused recently? Some of these kids where going to day care centers and the baby's families passed the home visit (I think it is like 1 or 2 months after birth that the nurse comes around to check out the home)
    This. This really, really gets to me in a way that I can't even begin to describe. My friend worked at a private daycare/kindergarten and tried her damndest to get the center to report on some awful parents who were drugging their toddler into a stupor.. No go. It's a private issue. My friend didn't speak Japanese, and that center is lucky that I wasn't in her place.. Because I would have made a real, real big embarrassment for them.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    Sometimes Japan can feel really similar to NYC in that people don't want to interrupt their daily business to interfere when someone is injured or in distress. You only got away with tackling the guy because you are a female. Keep kicking ass and taking names.

    That being said I just sit there and passively laugh to myself when I see old men perving on high school girls on trains.
    Quote Originally Posted by mothy View Post
    I will not miss the Keihin Tohoku when I jump in front of it.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azrael View Post
    you seem to be talking a lot about a situation you know nothing about. How do you know the sweet old lady hadn't just killed her grandson because he was born with a learning difficulty and she felt he was a disgrace to the family?
    Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I had already heard them arguing earlier. Anyway, who cares what she did? I don't care if it was a woman or a hairy old salaryman who was getting beaten. If they are screaming for help, how can you ignore it? If what she did was so horrific that it deserved the punishment of death, it was not that man's job to dole it out to her. That's for the police.

    Maybe she did something awful, maybe she was a disgrace, but it is downright cowardly to attack a weaponless and defenseless person. In public and in private. I don't need to bother with assuming whether it is deserved, I don't need to or care to know the story. None of my business.

  15. #15
    ITIL Spokesperson tenderRondo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    Madly is full of shit.
    guys, im not playing anymore

  16. #16

    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    So ethnocentric..
    "In his heart of hearts, he knows that you're on your own at this level..of big nose monkey snooker"

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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    she was probably just milking it in order to escalate the whole affair and get the guy done for resisting arrest as well as assault. You said yourself she was just standing there shouting at him in range of his kicks.

  18. #18
    ITIL Spokesperson tenderRondo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence in Japan

    and come on lets be serious here people, which one of you havent ever wanted to give your grandmother a roundhouse kick to the belly every now and then?
    guys, im not playing anymore

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by madly View Post
    If they are screaming for help, how can you ignore it?
    bose make some excellent noise canceling headphones

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azrael View Post
    You said yourself she was just standing there shouting at him in range of his kicks.
    Correction:

    She was standing in a corner crying and screaming for help. Kind of stupid not to get herself out of the way, but I don't know.. It seemed to me like she was too terrified to move. And she came with me eagerly when I led her out. We hid together behind another building. That's not "trying to get attention". The guy didn't need any help. He was quite berserk on his own.

    I know you guys weren't there, but I'd like to think that if you had been, you would have done the same thing, and would understand my anger. It's not like this is a small issue in this country. I am not full of shit, and I'm not just going on a feminist rant.

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