Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 87

Thread: On homothexuality

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default On homothexuality

    Tho, I'm like totally homo, girlfriends....

    Okay, f*ck that. I can't keep up that much camp-ness for an entire post >_<

    But anyway, I've read some previous posts on the topic of being gay and I get that JET doesn't really give a sh*t, but they don't want someone that's a poster child for neo-queer liberalist theory, either. There's mixed answers on the question of "should I tell them at the interview" with more advice leaning towards "no".

    That's well and good, but I'm in a bit of a different situation. I'm in a long term (6 year) relationship. I'm essentially "married", though neither the Australian nor Japanese government would let me exchange vows at this stage (closest I get in Australia is a certificate registering my relationship). When I go on the JET programme my partner, fairly obviously, would like to come with me. Not as a JET himself, he'll probably apply for a Working Holiday Visa or end up studying (he's not got his BA yet). I know if I'm in the 田舎 there may be no work for him and no Universities nearby, in that case we'd need to sort something else out.

    Anyway, because he's not eligible for a dependent visa and he's not applying to be a JET himself I was thinking that I'll probably go with "don't ask, don't tell". After I've been on JET for about a month he'll just fly over as a "friend" visiting and end up staying long-term. The only potential problem I see there is accommodation, but we're pretty happy if we end up sharing a shoebox. I figure it's the most headache free, "Japanese" way of going about things. I don't mind if I'm in the Inaka and people find out and eventually talk. But I'm secure enough in my relationship and sexuality that I don't really feel the need to be "out" or open about it. I already take the same approach with his grandma (she's 90 so he's never "come out" to her... she probably knows, but it's never said openly).

    Now, I know from lurking there's a lot of gay JETs, but do you guys know many gay JETs that are living in a long-term relationship that started before they were in Japan? If so, what approach have they taken to handling their relationship within their respective communities?
    Last edited by lilyanphino; October 14th, 2011 at 21:05. Reason: Language

  2. #2
    Does not approve HeartNana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Hyogo-ken
    Posts
    2,161

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    I live in the inaka (somewhat), and i had a male friend staying with me for 3 months to hang out while he found a job in JP. Nobody from my schools, nor my BOE or anything ever knew. While we're both heterosexuals and he was just a friend who came to hang out in JP for a while, it was never an issue. Your biggest problem is gonna be how he's gonna stay long term on more than just a tourist visa.

  3. #3
    Feckless Manchild Otaku word's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    日本
    Posts
    18,421

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    You seem to have the right attitude about it. There is an element of "don't ask/don't tell" here, but it's really more complicated than that. There was a particularly awesome gay ALT in my area (quite inaka); he never had any issues here (although he didn't live with a boyfriend, either). There were people who knew he was gay, and others that didn't, and others that probably knew but just never talked about it. I seriously doubt anyone would give you sh*t about another guy living in your house. Heck, there are like thirteen people living in my neighbor's house (and it is not a large house). People might gossip about you, but, like HeartNana said, your only real problem will likely be working out the visa issues.
    Quote Originally Posted by 00Bear00 View Post
    When I read your post I suddenly feel like I am so far away from being crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ananasboat View Post
    It's festivals days like these on which I really try really hard to make up for not partying in college.
    yeah, because who needs free flowing drugs and alcohol fueling adventorous sex with taut, lithe young bodies when you could wander around a dying town in the freezing cold with a can of asahi super dry in your hand while some toothless old farmer shouts at you.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default

    I'm not too worried about visas.

    As an Australian he could get a Working Holiday Visa (6 months validity, up to 2 extensions) so that covers him for 18 months. Beyond that if I choose to extend he could either study or look into a Cultural Visa.

    I lived in Japan for 18 months myself on a Working Holiday Visa and I met a lot of people in the Eikaiwa scene who knew ways around Visa problems, so I know there's a few tricks you can use, too (Tourist Visa with South Korea runs, etc).

    Anyway, always good to hear your comments.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Froren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    北海道
    Posts
    270

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Everyone will gossip about everything, it's inevitable, but no one will ever confront you about it. You seem to not care about any of that so you'll be perfectly fine.
    That's the best thing I ever saw!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Only thing I'd care about is potential problems with re-contracting or being scolded for having someone live with me long-term.

    Anything else I can handle.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Jojo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    662

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Open secrets are a pretty big way of dealing with things in Japan. Don't ask - just do. As long as everyone at work thinks your great and the kids love you guys will be fine.
    How are you? Yes yes!

  8. #8
    ฿300,000,000 greengoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Gallifrey
    Posts
    3,575

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    You can be as gay as you want. Some of my friends that came are totally out ouT OUT! and others are quieter about it. My orientation (boom pun!) had an entire seminar for LGBTA peeps.

    TLDR: It's ok to be gay on JET.
    Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggit
    It's like GG's life is run by a DM who lets him take all skill checks with his charisma modifier.

  9. #9
    Senior Member dialogue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    274

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Folks in my area are pretty laid back; I do not think they would care if I was gay. But be prepared for every single kid to ask you if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. Every kid will ask this. Even 11 year olds. It makes no sense to give a fck at eleven, but they do.

    About the interview, I don`t see why sexuality should be brought up or mentioned at all. Not their business, and you are trying to sell yourself as an employee.

    Good luck.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Yeah, if I was a single gay guy it'd be totally irrelevant and I wouldn't even consider mentioning it. It's just the whole accommodation thing- having someone stay with me for the majority of my time on JET without having told them I'd have someone stay with me.

    I guess the advantage of being gay is that people probably WON'T gossip as much about me, as a guy, having another guy move in with me. Whereas if it was a female moving in with me there'd probably be a lot more raised eyebrows.

    Also, the only other reason I considered maybe telling during the interview, is so I could get a placement with larger accommodation. I know JET tries to be accommodating of people who have fiances and things, but on the balance it's just easier to pretend I'm single, I think.

  11. #11
    Feckless Manchild Otaku word's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    日本
    Posts
    18,421

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    As dialogue was saying, be prepared for people to ask you if you're single. Also, be prepared for people to try to set you up with a girl. Even if they know you're gay. Even if they know you're gay and in a long-term relationship with your SO.
    Quote Originally Posted by 00Bear00 View Post
    When I read your post I suddenly feel like I am so far away from being crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ananasboat View Post
    It's festivals days like these on which I really try really hard to make up for not partying in college.
    yeah, because who needs free flowing drugs and alcohol fueling adventorous sex with taut, lithe young bodies when you could wander around a dying town in the freezing cold with a can of asahi super dry in your hand while some toothless old farmer shouts at you.

  12. #12

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Aren't we supposed to be cutting down on the swearing round here?

    I knew a few gay JETs, most did the don't ask/don't tell thing. One girl was fairly inaka and insisted that her town was far too conservative to accept her even if she didn't hide it all the time as she did. I'm sure that they wouldn't have been nasty or rude if she had come out to them though. When I mentioned to my JTE that my flatmate here in Germany is gay, she was worried that she might fall in love with me. That was funny.

  13. #13

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    -Request retracted-
    Last edited by Twala; October 22nd, 2011 at 19:13. Reason: Derail, derail.
    Post indiscriminately. Get slandered. Lol without ceasing.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Eudox's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    1,950

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Quit trolling.

  15. #15

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    -Retracted-
    Last edited by Twala; October 22nd, 2011 at 19:14. Reason: Derail, derail.
    Post indiscriminately. Get slandered. Lol without ceasing.

  16. #16

    Default

    Wait....Twala got in this year?

  17. #17

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    Yes.

    As I said, I'm sorry for thread bombing. As no one has responded to my request for advice, I will humbly delete the post instead of continuing to derail Prospective's thread.

    I'll revise my request in the hopes that it will be taken seriously and start my own thread. If it gets shot down, that's regrettable, but fine all the same. Better for a subject to be mocked on its own merit than to drag someone else's thread down.

    My apologies.
    Post indiscriminately. Get slandered. Lol without ceasing.

  18. #18
    Member Ode to a Grasshopper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Osaka
    Posts
    30

    Default

    We've got a few GLBT people here in Osaka, and besides a M to F transgender friend being constantly asked 'Are you a man?' it doesn't seem to be a problem. As has been said it shouldn't be a hassle aside from the housing and Visa situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by word View Post
    As dialogue was saying, be prepared for people to ask you if you're single. Also, be prepared for people to try to set you up with a girl. Even if they know you're gay. Even if they know you're gay and in a long-term relationship with your SO.
    Yeah, one of the sensei at one of my shogakko wants to set me up with his daughter. While I'm not opposed to having a Japanese - or non-Japanese - girlfriend, I'm quite contentedly single and am not sure about dating the relative of a coworker - it seems like it has the potential to make things difficult if it doesn't work out.

  19. #19
    Али Димаев AliDimayev's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    We all have a reponsibility to continue jihad.
    Posts
    16,604

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    The last thing anyone wants to hear if someone who keeps self-referencing, whether you are applying for JET or anything else.

    "As a gay man, I think that..."
    "Well, as a gay man,...."
    "When I came out,....."
    "As a Chechen....."
    "Well, as a Muslim,....."
    "Well I am Muslim, so....."

    Just don't reveal anything like that.
    <a href=http://www.ithinkimlost.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3134&dateline=1245615339 target=_blank>http://www.ithinkimlost.com/image.ph...ine=1245615339</a>
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyakuman View Post
    As usual, you all (Aliを除く) have your heads up your asses.

  20. #20
    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    28,765

    Default Re: On homothexuality

    shouldnt be a problem, but just remember the JET health insurance doesn't cover antiretroviral drugs
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •