Originally Posted by
DickForce
I'm thinking this is where I would want to draw the line. I've always been wrapped up in the concern of getting deep enough to not feel like a total outsider, which feels like a permanent fear to me, either because I'm neurotic or because people refused to sit next to me on buses and trains every day for 7 consecutive months. I think "going native" has less of the objective of trying to turn completely Japanese (because really, who would want to turn completely into any culture? they all suck, there's your non-bigoted racism for the day) and more the objective of not feeling like you're from another planet every time you try to encounter anyone.
I mean, no, I don't want to work 16 hour days, I don't want to become an alcoholic, I don't want my marriage to include multiple decades without any sexual contact, and I don't want to draw myself into a crazy fascination with rice and green tea instead of realizing that there exists something called variety in the world. To that extent, no, I don't wish I could become completely Japanese and am willing to accept my gaijinity. On the other hand, is it really too much to ask for to try to dip a little more than my feet into Japanese society, long enough that I can live comfortably instead of building some kind of fantasy world around me where the gimmick of being some kind of walking variety show segment to everyone around me lasts the rest of my life or until I leave? In all my time studying abroad, very few people advanced past the most shallow conversational topics in existence (even by Japanese standards), never have I been more than some kind of mascot for any sports club I joined (and let me not start on the International Friendship club, which I learned I was not supposed to join because their mission is to prepare events for Japanese to meet foreigners), never could people even greet me with an ohayo and depart with an otsukare, and every person I met at an international party relegated me to one of two positions: "must be a halfee" or "how cute, the gaijin is speaking Japanese to us."
It's kind of dickish how whenever I bring this up, the response is always the hilarious false dichotomy of "Why can't you just appreciate being a gaijin? It's not like life is any better for the Japanese." As if the options are very clear: have everyone talk to you like you're on a variety show, or be an alcoholic lifer in a dead-end job and marriage.
On that note, if anyone has a guide on how to become valuable enough to the Japanese around you that they will treat you like a friend and/or co-worker rather than a mascot, please let me know.
Re: Does anyone like JET??
