Page, this is basically what I was saying.
My GF and I have a Japanese outside of the house/ English at the house rule. Although we often break it. We totally understand the other one in our native tongues. She lived, with me, for 4.5 years in the states so her English is pretty good. I point out major mistakes but let the small ones slip. She does the same, especially with formal Japanese which I suck at.
But we rarely correct each other, I don't like to do it or receive it. I feel it breaks up the dynamic of the relationship. Plus natives don't usually explain grammar in terms the learners understand. I have learned about "Be動詞" and can explain it in those terms but internally, it's not how I think about grammar. Same goes for Japanese, she isn't thinking about "て-verbs" and "う-verbs" (not that I really am either at this point. )
To each their own but I don't like it.
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