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Thread: Lesson horror stories

  1. #1

    Default Lesson horror stories

    Maybe this should go in the lounge? Idk. Anyway, I'd love to hear some stories about your most awkward, awful, ridiculous lessons you've ever had to push through in Japan... I bet a lot of that happened on your first days as on the job, right? Was it kind of fun not knowing what to expect or a big downer for you when a lesson bombed?

  2. #2
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Anybody who says they haven't had a lesson bomb is probably a terrible teacher who has terrible lessons constantly without even noticing it. I have had my share, but I don't think they make for interesting stories.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    The last thing anyone wants to do is relive that experience though, let alone share their ineptitude with the creeps at popular e-bullying nexus, ithinkimlost.com.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    I have some interesting ones, but I like to tell them IRL, so I won't be sharing them here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggit View Post
    But what if we reverse the polarity of the quantum string theory? According to uncertainty principle there are infinite worlds out there, so it stands to reason schrodinger's cat is alive in one of them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Apollo87;
    U da real mvp.

  5. #5
    Feckless Manchild Otaku word's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    I dunno; I've had some lessons completely bomb, but when they do, it's usually not all that spectacular a fail, more of a "kids sitting around bored and/or confused as f*ck and not learning anything" kinda thing.
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    It's festivals days like these on which I really try really hard to make up for not partying in college.
    yeah, because who needs free flowing drugs and alcohol fueling adventorous sex with taut, lithe young bodies when you could wander around a dying town in the freezing cold with a can of asahi super dry in your hand while some toothless old farmer shouts at you.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Yeag, that's what I'm saying. Not fun when it's happening, but not anything anyone in their river mind would want to hear a detailed description of.

  7. #7
    Pimpin wenches aint easy BeckyJones's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Having something horrible happen in class is different. Like having a kid vomit on another one, or a kid shit himself.
    those are mildly amusing disasters.
    Quote Originally Posted by johnny View Post
    His dying breath will not be how sorry he is to leave his wife or children, but it will be saved to insult Jiggit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Hello song, what do you like sports? and fruit basket. The holy trinity of English education.

  8. #8
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Yeah, but that's not really the lesson bombing. I've had a student pass out during class before. Also had a student start bawling for no reason and flee from the classroom. Had one kid punch another kid.
    But other than the slight delay whilst those issues got sorted, the lessons went fine.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Quote Originally Posted by mothy View Post
    Also had a student start bawling for no reason and flee from the classroom.
    'Accidentally' told a student that Santa wasn't real and reindeer can't fly...

  10. #10
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Here is the conversation leading up to the crying.

    Mothy: good morning!
    Students: good morning!
    Mothy: how are you?
    Students: mujtgadmwtgju, and you?
    Mothy: i'm fucking incredible. Um, Aya! How are you?
    Aya: I...
    Aya runs off crying.
    Mothy: so... not good, then.

  11. #11
    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    In the basement of the Saitama super arena

    me:Let's sing the "hello" song!
    studentcrying) my mom died!!!!
    me:everyone fucking died, now sing the fucking song
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

  12. #12
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Isn't there a goodbye song you could have gone with instead?

  13. #13
    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Teach them something new?? Are you mad? All you do in Japan is rehash the same stuff over and over for 15 years. Hello song, what do you like sports? and fruit basket. The holy trinity of English education.
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

  14. #14
    chill yo coop52's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Had a special needs kid cry and demand that I kill him because I asked him if he brought his notebook and he forgot it. He then curled into a little ball and sobbed for like 20 minutes when I told him he couldn't commit seppuku during class.

  15. #15
    Constant Fu*kup sharpinthefang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    One student in the normal class had an epileptic fit when one of the other students turned the lights off. Epi student went over backwards and smacked his head on a desk. Cue the ambulance and end of the lesson.

    On a lighter note, fu*k year, my tour starts in 3 hours!
    Accepted with Interac on 13th May 2014
    Upgraded with JET on 7th October 2014...

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas_Simmons View Post
    shit, i've realize that i picked the wrong time to reply directly the thread's original question...

  16. #16

    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    T-minus 5 days until chapsonthebum's body is discovered in the burned out RV wreck.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggit View Post
    But what if we reverse the polarity of the quantum string theory? According to uncertainty principle there are infinite worlds out there, so it stands to reason schrodinger's cat is alive in one of them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Apollo87;
    U da real mvp.

  17. #17
    Senior Member mothy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Quote Originally Posted by sharpinthefang View Post
    On a lighter note, fu*k year, my tour starts in 3 hours!
    I think I'm as sexually liberal as the next guy but if you've planned a fuck year that involves a tour, you're just a hoebag.

  18. #18
    Constant Fu*kup sharpinthefang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Quote Originally Posted by mothy View Post
    I think I'm as sexually liberal as the next guy but if you've planned a fuck year that involves a tour, you're just a hoebag.
    opps, typo phone strikes again!

    We didn't go for the RV in the end.
    Accepted with Interac on 13th May 2014
    Upgraded with JET on 7th October 2014...

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas_Simmons View Post
    shit, i've realize that i picked the wrong time to reply directly the thread's original question...

  19. #19

    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Quote Originally Posted by coop52 View Post
    Had a special needs kid cry and demand that I kill him because I asked him if he brought his notebook and he forgot it. He then curled into a little ball and sobbed for like 20 minutes when I told him he couldn't commit seppuku during class.
    Jesus

    Yeah I guess I meant just general mishaps in class and not just 'my kids just stared at me blankly for 10 min' I know that's to be expected. I like hearing about the bad stuff... like generally I really love kids but they also kinda suck, going to another country won't change that. Also hey all that bad stuff clearly makes for some good stories anyway lol. Builds character maybe? Haha

  20. #20
    Pimpin wenches aint easy BeckyJones's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesson horror stories

    Quote Originally Posted by weepinbell View Post
    Jesus

    Yeah I guess I meant just general mishaps in class and not just 'my kids just stared at me blankly for 10 min' I know that's to be expected. I like hearing about the bad stuff... like generally I really love kids but they also kinda suck, going to another country won't change that. Also hey all that bad stuff clearly makes for some good stories anyway lol. Builds character maybe? Haha
    did a lesson plan where we went outside to find leaves to describe. This leaf is red, it's big, it's old... etc (elementary 5th grade btw). I had three kids fall in a puddle, one fall down a hill and not a single one was clean after being outside for 15 minutes.


    hows that for a lesson fail?
    Quote Originally Posted by johnny View Post
    His dying breath will not be how sorry he is to leave his wife or children, but it will be saved to insult Jiggit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ini View Post
    Hello song, what do you like sports? and fruit basket. The holy trinity of English education.

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