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Thread: riddles

  1. #1
    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Default riddles

    in a fit of insanity my supervisor has asked me to come up with some riddles for the kids. I have only a few hours. Help me help me help me!

    For example "I am my fathers child and my mother's child but im no one's son, who am I" - Daughter

    Who works only one day a year and never gets fired - Santa Claus/ National AJET person seeking relecton, etc.


    Help me and I will hug you or something.

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    Senior Member Narnia's Avatar
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    Dr Peterson: 'I'm a schoolteacher'
    Porter at Empire Hotel: 'Thought so: they always look as if they've lost something' -From "Spellbound"

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    What do you put in a box to make it lighter? - a hole

    I don't know if this is the type of thing you nead but it would be an alright puzzel for the students I think, it's one of those ones where you have to figure out the letters and then the last line is a clue, so the letter T is in tea but not leaf etc:

    My first is in tea but not in leaf
    My second is in teapot and also in teeth
    My third is in caddy but not in cosy
    My fourth is in cup but not in rosy
    My fifth is in herbal and also in health
    My sixth is in peppermint and always in wealth
    My last is in drink, so what can I be?
    I’m there in a classroom, do you listen to me?

    Answer: Teacher

    Ugh, I used to know loads of these but it's been a while, I'll see if I can think of more.
    "The exquisite art of idleness, one of the most important things that any University can teach" -- Oscar Wilde

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    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
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    "I look like a cave man but I'm as gay as a maypole" - Dombay

    "I live in university accommodation but I'm in my 30's" - Sciby

    "I teach at a school but I may be clinically retarded" - Becky
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

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    "i try to act all mean and nasty but it actually just comes out funny" the elusive name changer from Hull

    And as for being clinically retarded, im actually quite clever at some stuff, i forgot because at uni i was always super ditsy but people knew i was also clever cos i was always pretty much top of the class. And i got 100% in 4 of my a-level exams, honest :wink: . And then last night, i realised now im not in uni, people only see the ditsy side so that's kind of a shame.

    anyway riddles... you can do stuff like describe animals and they have to guess what animal they are, but then i guess that's just definitions! Hmmm, have you looked online??

    Or theres some good ones in team taught pizza with celebrities on page 69! I can pm them too you if you dont have it.
    frappu mocha chipu midori frap java chinno. onnegaishimasu!!

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Thanks for your help kids! Much appreicated!!

    Apart from ini. He can just get fucked.

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    Senior Member psychohistoric's Avatar
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    Looks like you're going for detailed listen/reading comprehension, and if that's the case, I use math problems for the same purposes becuase my students like math. An ALT in the next town over told me about monkey math and it makes my students shit their pants everytime. Just think of a monkey math word problem and have them solve it. I use this excersise for listening comp. Example of one he came up with.

    There are 5 monkey houses at the zoo. In each monkey house there are 5 monkeys. It is winter time and 3 monkeys in each monkey house catch the flu. All the monkeys with the flu die. How many monkeys do not die.
    Answer - 10 monkeys.

    One of mine

    64 monkeys live at the zoo. Everyday each monkey eats 1 banana. One day an evil monkey poisons all of the bananas. Half of the monkeys who eat the bananas get sick. Half of the monkeys who get sick die. How many monkeys die?
    Answer - 16 monkeys.

    For some reason my student love questions about monkeys and they seem to love them even more when the questions involve monkeys dying. My kids are demented.

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Weird, my students are not interested unless it involves combing hair, reading manga or screaming as loudly as possible.

    Is Ini from Hull then?

    That explains quite a bit doesn't it just?

    Half my family is from Hull. That's why I have fuckedupedness in the blood.

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    hull is britain's crappest town. According to the book "Britain's crappest towns" but it is in Yorkshire, and Yorkshire is wonderful.
    frappu mocha chipu midori frap java chinno. onnegaishimasu!!

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    Senior Member Narnia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by becky1985
    hull is britain's crappest town. According to the book "Britain's crappest towns" but it is in Yorkshire, and Yorkshire is wonderful.
    I TOTALLY agree. Blimey who posted here briefly comes from York and hates it. He thus thinks I am very strange wanting to live there
    Dr Peterson: 'I'm a schoolteacher'
    Porter at Empire Hotel: 'Thought so: they always look as if they've lost something' -From "Spellbound"

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Its a very sexy accent?

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    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
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    York is Nirvana compared to Hull.
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

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    I forget where it comes from but I like this one:

    "Thirty two white horses stand on a hill,
    Stamping and champing, then all standing still."

    Answer: teeth

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    I came up with 'two men get on a bus at yamaguchi station. how many people are on the bus?'

    and

    something else ...

    Anyway the kids surprisingly were able to answer the questions.

    This is ninensei JHS. They are more interested in throwing rocks at things than english as well so I was surprised.

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    Quote Originally Posted by becky1985
    hull is britain's crappest town. According to the book "Britain's crappest towns" but it is in Yorkshire, and Yorkshire is wonderful.
    I LOVE that Britain has a "crappiest towns" book. Kills me for some reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeCarter
    "I live in university accommodation but I'm in my 30's" - Sciby
    Well, living here is part of the job description, so I'm giving your insult an F, see me after class.
    For relaxing times when ITIL explodes, make it Japanistan time. (Actually, don't, it's broken forever)

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    You're only allowed to give the students A B or C. D and E/F/U or whatever is where you are from crushes their self esteem apparently.

    So I have had to give Cs to blank pieces of paper.

    Surely these kids have no self esteem to crush?!

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    Delicious...and moist! kiwimusume's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dombay
    You're only allowed to give the students A B or C. D and E/F/U or whatever is where you are from crushes their self esteem apparently.

    So I have had to give Cs to blank pieces of paper.

    Surely these kids have no self esteem to crush?!
    I dunno, some of my intermediate school report cards were A = good, B = OK, C = shit. Do they know C means shit in your school's system, though, or are the shit kids all walking round thinking you graded their work as OK?

  19. #19
    Billy Big Bollocks Ini's Avatar
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    If you wrote a "C" on the bit of paper chances are they cant read it anyway
    Great men of action never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job.

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    Daimyo ***** dombay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwimusume
    Quote Originally Posted by dombay
    You're only allowed to give the students A B or C. D and E/F/U or whatever is where you are from crushes their self esteem apparently.

    So I have had to give Cs to blank pieces of paper.

    Surely these kids have no self esteem to crush?!
    I dunno, some of my intermediate school report cards were A = good, B = OK, C = shit. Do they know C means shit in your school's system, though, or are the shit kids all walking round thinking you graded their work as OK?

    That's what I would have thought but according to my JTEs not so.

    But yea it would seem like if you got the lowest grade possible you suck regardless of what it is ...

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